A Conversation for Divorce

Overlooking The Obvious

Post 1

Some Guy

Alas, you have indeed ommited the most popular, Sir (and,or) Madam.
The most popular reason is probably logic.
As for remarriage, that is a perfect example of the triumph hope has over experience. Actually, some 65% of married couples go through divorce or separation in the U.S.
I blame women.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 2

Zach Garland

You blame women. I blame society. Actually, I blame the schmuck who invented marriage in the first place.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 3

Cheerful Dragon

In any disagreement, including divorce, there are USUALLY faults on both sides. Having said that, I personally know of one divorce where most of the fault was on the woman's side, and I've read of several where the fault was mostly on the man's side. In a lot of cases, though, I'm inclined to blame our 'throw-away' society, where people give up on anything that doesn't work exactly to their wishes. Relationships can work out if you stick with them.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 4

Some Guy

That quote inspires me. Even the its false.
As for cases where men are at fault, you have read about them but never actually seen one.
Well, maybe Bill Clinton, but hey, it's just the male primal instict to go and reproduce as much as possible to insure the survival of the species. It's also man like him which are causing the next wide scale instinction. We are in the beginning of one right now.
smiley - fish


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 5

Researcher Frin E. Frin

Could it simply be that most living human beings are not extremely thoughtful?
-that they get together under ill considered cicumstances, that they run in to
unanticipated circumstances, and that they finally divorce under inevitable circumstances?
Without a strong societal or theological pressure to "make it work"- people
are free to make mistakes and live carelessly.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 6

Cheerful Dragon

As personally knowing cases where the man was at fault, I know so few people who are divorced. I don't go up to the people I work with, for example, and say 'Are you divorced? If so, whose fault was it?'. The only people I KNOW are divorced are my sister and her ex-husband and, as I said, the fault was largely on her side.

Besides, unless you personally know the circumstances, never trust either one of a wedded or divorced couple when they are telling you whose fault it is. Both will blame the other.

And a man's habit of screwing around (as done by Bill Clinton and many others) IS something that thoroughly pisses women off. Women don't do it to the same extent, and expect men to behave once married. Maybe we're being unreasonable, expecting men to ignore / override their natural procreative urges, but a lot of women regard it as part of being civilised.

I accept that some marriages are a genuine mistake; if one partner is violent or cruel in some way (This can be either partner - some women are real bitches, but the police won't believe that the woman beat up on the man when they come round to a domestic incident and find the woman in tears!) But some people split up because their partner doesn't quite meet their idea of perfection, or because they've got bored. It's this that I regard as wrong. I tend to agree with Researcher Frin E. Frin in his/her reply.

BTW When I was about 6 months old my father contracted rheumatoid arthritis. It was so serious he needed almost constant care. Some people suggested that my mother should have me and my elder sister adopted, put my father in a nursing home and get a divorce. My mother's attitude was that that's not what marriage is about. They were still together on the day he died, having made an excellent job of raising two daughters in the meantime.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 7

Some Guy

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!Oh no, it's another wave of statistics!
This is just an American poll but apparently some 68% of women who find out that theur husbands are cheating on them still stay with them. Hillary Clinton is a perfect example.
As for women always being at fault, I meant it partially as a joke.
However, when I was seven years old my parents got divorced because my mother was abusive. That is the only divorce I ever observed with any interest and therefor is the only experience with divorce that I have accuired. smiley - sadface


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 8

Cheerful Dragon

Maybe I should lighten up. I mean, I'm not a militant feminist but when someone comes out with a sweeping statement about women (e.g., all women are bad drivers, can't park, cause all divorces) it bugs me. Especially when I am pretty sure of facts to the contrary.

As for statistics, in my opinion 68% of American women are:

a) So much in love with their husbands that they will forgive him anything
b) A lot more understanding than I am
c) Stark staring mad
d) Any combination of any of the above.

I can understand Hillary sticking with Bill, seeing as they are both public figures. I wonder what the statistics would have been like if she had dumped the rat. I love my husband very much, but he and I both know that if he screwed around I'd dump him. I probably wouldn't remarry as I wouldn't want to risk making the same mistake twice.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 9

Some Guy

I actually have reasons that you failed to consider. You have to keep in mind that these are Americans
-alcohol
-cocaine
-a really big penis
-a really big wallet
-ecstacy(the drug/pheraputic wonder)
-large breasts(no wait, wrong gender)
As for Hillary Clinton, she is staying with El Presidento because she will run for mayor of New York and she needs his help. You see, the current mayor, Rudolph Juliani has within his term reduced crime so much that New York is now the safest city in America with over a million people. She knows this and this is a big disadvantage for her.
Even the infamous Howard Stern is convinced that Juliani is a more capable mayor. This means that Juliani has at least a million more votes.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 10

Zach Garland

Okay, anywhere in the original guide entry you all are responding to, did I indicate that women are always at fault? That was not my intent and I just read it over again and can't really tell how someone could come to that conclusion reading my original prose about it. However, this thread seems to indicate that someone has that misunderstanding.

Or am I missing something? I generally explain that divorce is the end of the argument, when the two can no longer argue together any longer in blissful mutual hatefulness. The arguments after the divorce over whose fault it is turns out to be just sour grapes and has nothing to do with the beautiful and wholly remarkable ongoing argument that is in fact marriage.

If I'm misleading people to think I'm being biased towards one spouse or the other please let me know and I'll look into changing the wording. In my opinion, in any divorce, both sides are at fault not because one was right and the other was wrong. That's irrelevant. The fact is they both stop working together. At that point, the fault is always mutual.

Yes that may overly simplify it for some people, but I'm writing a guide entry about divorce here, not a scientific treatise, and any arguments over who should be at fault in all cases just turns into gender bias anyway. Best to just blame everybody that way no one feels left out.

BTW I'm still perpetually on the lookout for the next ex Mrs. Garland, so any women in the Dallas Fort Worth area here in the states who would like to audition please email me at [email protected]. =)


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 11

Cheerful Dragon

I don't see anywhere in this forum where anybody says that you think that the breakdown of all marriages is the woman's fault. I was just having a pleasant slanging match with Some Guy because he said, in the first entry, 'I blame women'.

It's not your fault, or are you paranoid?


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 12

Some Guy

I agree with the dragon here.
This is probably a mistake. My advice is to blame the gender that is not yours. For example, I have always blamed women for the fact that my pentium thinks 5 times 10 is 49.8965289543562376. It's like that jike says.
God created Adam.
Unfortunately, Adam soon became very lonely so he asked god for a partner.
God said I can create someone that is understanding, easy to talk to, and looks very attractive.
Adam said, "That's great"
God then said, "The bad news is it will cost an arm and a leg.
"Hmmm", said Adam, "What can I get for a rib?"


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 13

Cheerful Dragon

I hate to find myself agreeing with a man, but in this case I do. I 'blame' men for everything (in a light-hearted way - MOST of the time). After all, it must be their fault. They were created first.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 14

Some Guy

Actually I prefer the slime and bacteria over the Adam and Eve thing. You see all these people are saying that either the men or the women are at fault. The fact is both genders are mostly composed of idiots. I said it before and I'll say it again, 75% of people are below average. No one can change that. What we should do is shut up about it because we are just wasting time. As for divorce, sometimes men are at fault, sometimes women, sometimes both, usually neither. The human race would be more productive if they stopped marriage. Then there is the issue of children. If it was not for children the proud tradition of marriage would be over in a second.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 15

Zach Garland

I'm not paranoid! Why do you think I'm paranoid!? Do I LOOK paranoid? Do I sound paranoid??! Eh? EH!?

Okay I'll calm down now.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 16

Cheerful Dragon

These days a lot of people have children without bothering to get married. However, there are no statistics to show how often these relationships break up. It seems it's OK to give up on a relationship if you're not married, but not if you are married. Then, of course, there are the legal aspects. For example, who gets what if one of the non-married parents dies. There's also the fact that the non-married father will be expected to support his children, but should he also support the partner he wasn't married to in the way that he would if they had been married? (If you see what I mean!)

The problem is that there is the belief that children need to parents to do a proper job of bringing them up in a stable family environment, and that these parents should be married in order to provide that stable environment. While the first belief may be true (my parents did a good enough job with me), the second POSSIBLY isn't.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 17

Cheerful Dragon

I don't know what you look or sound like as I can neither see nor hear you. So I don't know whether you look or sound paranoid. However, the content of your previous submission gave the impression that there is a possibility (no more than that) that you MAY be paranoid. Only you can know whether or not they are really out to get you! smiley - smiley


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 18

Some Guy

Relax, you're not paranoid Mulder.

Maybe, maybe not.
Life is too short to argue an argument which can continue for days. I'm real glad that your parents raised you well. Unfortunately, so many people have their own ideas about being raised and treated well. We only know what we are told. For example, my definition of blue is your definition of green but should we see something we will agree on the color. As a matter of fact, you can be know as Toothless Joe the gay town drunk(Not that theres anything with drunk and gay people).
What I mean is that for all you know you are a man and your husband thinks he's a woman.


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 19

Cheerful Dragon

Has anyone ever told you that you're weird? If not, consider yourself told! smiley - winkeye


Overlooking The Obvious

Post 20

Some Guy

I have been told that that entry said I am a genius. See what I mean?

No, actually what I wrote is completely true but is in no way meant to offend unless one has problems with thinking. Sorry if you have a problem with thinking and logic. That includes you Mrs.Dragon.

No, really, I'm not joking. This is simple biology.


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