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The divorce is final. I've paid him for the half house. It's now all mine.
And today was the court case for abuse.
I might not get much in the way of money for him attacking me. Mainly because I felt no pain. But the insult of being threateningly treated most of that night might get something.
I think he ruined his defence well on his own. I told my story quite plainly, answered questions as best I could. I was clear about what I could not remember, and what I could remember. He gave a vaguer story, with less details. He didn't answer straight on a lot of questions, but dodged and weaved until it was obvious that he could not give a straight answer without admitting what he did. He brought up on his own that he had felt the marriage breaking down for a long time, that he had psych problems and had started taking antidepressants. That he had jealousy issues - of Azatoth for example, and me inviting him to our home. How ridiculous is it that I would invite someone to my family to have sex? If I was up to bad stuff again, wouldn't I have kept it secret? And he started arguing with the judge - really bad move.
In the very end, his defence lawyer tried to make me out as not dependable - I had had one large whisky. But the ex admitted to drinking about 300 ml, how dependable would that make his statement?
I might write more details later. But I think I did well. Quite a cool account of what happened. I think it's OK that I couldn't exactly tell which order all the things happened, but that was also held against me. The ex claimed that his was the full story. But lots was missing.
I just hope he annoyed the judges enough to sentence him to a pretty fine. And to pay the court costs. And a nice compensation sum.
Cross your fingers.
indeed. It sounds like you've been brave and I hope, like the proverb says, fortune favours you.
Fortune sure doesn't know where to send the money though... May has not even started, and I am 23000 kronor MINUS on my account. And there are the childrens birthdays, and a wedding with accompanying gift to deal with. And my cousins birthday tomorrow.
I have a sell order for my little stock of shares, but it will probably be some time before it goes through. And soon, that little savings will be gone.
Economy balances somewhat at least - I've sold off some shares (ok, more than half of them).
The verdict came today. He got sentenced (?) for molestation, not assault and battery. He pays a fine of 18000 kr (not quite 2000 euro), but no damages paid to me.
Next step is to contact the crime victim fund, to get damages for the children. They should not have had to witness their father molesting their mother, so I hope they get compensation for that.
But it's not certain.
Next to deal with is the question of money. Since we have them half time each, there is no legal ground for me to claim money from him. But on the other hand, he should buy them clothes and necessities, I think, but he thinks that since I get the government child allowance (all children are covered by this) I should buy them all they need. I think that since he earns twice of what I do, he should spend a lot more than currently (i.e. nothing, basically, apart from food).
But that's another battle... My lawyer suggested that since he thinks the child allowance should pay for anything they need, he get it, and pays for everything. I probably save money on it, but I'm not so sure he would spend according to what he earns, just according to the allowance, and they would still feel poor - very basic clothes and not much else.
Ho hum. Step by step.
If he thinks you should buy them all they need apart from food, you really don't have true joint custody, do you?
I take it the sum of your income plus barnbidrag is less than his income?
I googled a bit, and this is what I found - doesn't seem to be anything one can do about it:
Oh honey, what a jerk he seems to be! But at least you're rid of him now...
If you are lucky though, (as if...) you can make a voluntary agreement if the differences in income are big:
And I need to really point out to him that care does mean more than food and housing. Perhaps I should log everything I buy outside that and send him, and ask for at least half in reimbursement, after deducting the barnbidrag.
Or let him have the barnbidrag and have him buy *everything* they need.