queue. Sharp elbows are the best defence.

If you are in Munich, get up early one day, go to the market in the centre of town, and obtain a Weisswurst . You must go in the morning, because by midday they are past their best. They are white sausages made from the white fatty gunk that runs out of the pig when they cut its throat, and taste very nice. Try one, you will be surprised. Honest.

Never, ever spend an entire evening drinking Altbier . It is very nice but gives you a pounding hangover.

If you get caught up in a bar where drinking songs are being sung, do not hide behind your beer hoping that nobody will notice you. It is far more acceptable to join in. Of course nobody expects you to know the words, you're a foreigner, so just wave your beer around and make appropriate singing noises during the chorus.

In what used to be the West, it is much, much better to be thought a foreign tourist than a foreign worker. Unemployment is a big problem and feelings against 'foreigners taking our jobs' run high.

In