Front Page

 
Help!
   Life | The Universe | Everything | Advanced Search
Front Page
Read
Talk
Contribute
Feedback
Who is Online



or register to join or start a new conversation.

The Doctor
Researcher Data

Researcher671176
Name: The Doc
Last posted: Last Week

Text only
Like this page?
Send it to a friend





The Doc/Captain does Poetry.....

But, Whoooaaa! ! what light through yonder broken window breaks?
It is the yeast, and I is the bun.
Arise, fair bun, and kill the envious loon,
Who is already tom dick and pale with beef,
That thou, her maid, art far more bare than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
And I had always wondered where Vious was
Her vesta curry is but sick and green
And none but cheapskates do eat it; cast it off!
It is my lady, O, it is my bit on the side!
O, if only she stayed sober and knew that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing; what of that?
Her eye swivels; and I will answer it.
I am too bold! 'tis not to me she speaks but the bartender.
Two of the fairest globes in all the heaven,
Having some business, doth fill her blouse
To twinkle in their spheres till the boys calm down
What if my eyes were there, bulging from my head?
The brightness of her ample cheeks would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes rotate
Would through the hairy region stream so bright
That birds would karaoke and think it were all right.
See, how she sits her cheeks upon upon my head!!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might wobble those cheeks!

The Doc/Captains trusty colleagues:

Petra Stringfellows skimpily dressed crack armoured Lap Dancing division.
Two bitchy gay interior designer Cybermen (Currently asleep)
Two lager lout reprobate Daleks called Colin and Steve
Nurse Just Arrived who can only walk in circles due to one leg being shorter
UG, his trusty Neanderthal caveman Butler, Driver and Man Servant
Bimbo, a gratuitous lady of easy virtue, little brain, barely legal clothing with immense Boobs of Doom

The Doc/Captains current hobbies:

1: A thorough and scientific study of the joys of Farting in the Botty Burps thread

2: Building a fully functional 1-1 scale lifesize Lego replica of the Deathstar

Discuss this Entry  People have been talking about this Guide Entry. Here are the most recent Conversations:

Front Page (Last Posting: May 13, 2010)
You are wasted... (Last Posting: Sep 25, 2009)
Am I OK... (Last Posting: Sep 24, 2009)
Aaaah...... (Last Posting: Nov 12, 2007)
I bent over backwards in an effort to display the utmost sincerity and consideration... (Last Posting: Jan 30, 2007)
Greetings Mien Dokter.. (Last Posting: Nov 3, 2006)
Funadmentalists (Last Posting: Oct 26, 2006)
Invitation (Last Posting: Feb 27, 2006)
Any chance of a lobotomy.... (Last Posting: Nov 28, 2005)
Do what you wish Doctor (Last Posting: Nov 25, 2005)

Click here to see more Conversations



Journal EntriesMost Recent Conversations
 


Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button.

Clarity (Dec 31, 2009)
Captains Log: December 31st, 2009 15:36

Clarity. Absolute Clarity. Not the artificial clarity that drugs or Hollywood, booze or an end of the world sweaty one night stand gives you but something else. Entirely.

The Clarity I am speaking of is when you leave emotion behind. We have all tried at some point, I am sure but to really divorce all feelings from your existence is ............liberating. It is peaceful. It is like early morning mist lifting to reveal the edge of a cliff, and knowing to within a millimetre exactly how far you are from that edge.
Precision judgements are possible and confusion melts away. What a view.


Click here to discuss this
(No replies)

Dads 80th Birthday Party London 3rd October 2009 (Oct 2, 2009)
Dad – Thank you for being there for me, and thank you for trusting that I knew what I was doing. Thank you for believing in me and helping my dreams come true, even when it looked impossible. Thank you for being my role model and teaching me what being a man really meant – and thank you for being there for me always. I cannot possibly tell you how much I love you, but just know that I do. You will always and forever be the best Dad I could ever have hoped for. Happy Birthday Dad – and you will always have me and my families love. Have a great day xxxxxx
Click here to discuss this
(3 replies, Latest reply: Oct 5, 2009)

The Mad Lab - The unpublished ending (Sep 27, 2009)
........the trapdoor opens with a dull thud

and a figure - unmistakably female - slowly rises through the hole until, with a soft click as the mechanism reaches full travel, she stands before the Doc.

The backlight dazzles him initially, but the silhouette stands out, starkly black against the light but with soft edges..

the figure moves slightly towards him, feline, almost flowing with a preternatural motion, but stops...

"Ahhh..."The" Doc..." she says with a voice as smooth as silk

I bet you never thought that we would finally meet did you?

The Doc stumbles backwards before standing

Who are you? He asks

Who? She responds……You do not recognise me?

*The figure moves closer to the doc, becoming clearer in the light……..a dull red light reflects from it*

Poor boy…even now, you deny me……. *moving closer but with a flash of electric movement she is in front of him, hoisting the Doc by his throat into the air*

Let me introduce myself……”Doctor”

I AM you……..your “Id” if you will, and very, very capable thanks to your imagination. Still no clue little man?

You do not recognise your minds creation? Well let me help you…….my name is Elise………… Elise 21 to be precise……and SO pleased to meet you at long last

Click here to discuss this
(9 replies, Latest reply: Sep 28, 2009)


 

From h2g2
cancel
(Posted: Jan 31, 2011)
(Last reply: 53 Minutes Ago)


From h2g2
A New Kind of Business Forum
(Posted: Feb 1, 2011)
(Last reply: Yesterday)


From h2g2
Starwars: Baby i've changed....
(Posted: Nov 1, 2012)
(Last reply: Yesterday)


From h2g2
So, I've never seen an episode of Dr Who. My question is...
(Posted: Last Week)
(Last reply: Last Week)


From h2g2
Apprentice UK 2013
(Posted: Last Week)
(Last reply: Last Week)


From h2g2
The Gullible Thread
(Posted: Nov 1, 2010)
(Last reply: 2 Weeks Ago)


From h2g2
So Bad... It's Good
(Posted: Mar 14, 2013)
(Last reply: Mar 20, 2013)


From h2g2
Lost my job - need to retrain so need advice from the computer experts please!
(Posted: Mar 14, 2013)
(Last reply: Mar 15, 2013)


From h2g2
The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
(Posted: Oct 12, 2012)
(No replies)


From h2g2
Who is still active? (reprise)
(Posted: Sep 28, 2012)
(Last reply: Oct 3, 2012)


Click here to see more Conversations

 

Most Recent Guide EntriesMost Recent Edited Entries
 


These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there.

From h2g2: A63114301  In Living Memory: Part Four (Feb 11, 2010)
From h2g2: A62578074  In Living Memory: The 1960s (Jan 30, 2010)
From h2g2: A59560383  Tips For Cold Mornings (Nov 13, 2009)

Click here to see more Guide Entries



 


These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too?

From h2g2: A60766518  Tips For Cold Mornings (Jan 4, 2010)

Click here to see more Edited Entries


 
Friends
Here is the friends list of The Doc:
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Click here to delete more than one name

Please note that Not Panicking Ltd is not responsible for the content of any external sites listed. The content on h2g2 is created by h2g2's Researchers, who are members of the public. Unlike Edited Guide Entries, the content on this page has not necessarily been checked by a h2g2 editor. In the event that you consider anything on this page to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please click here .


About | Help | Terms of Use