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UPDATE: DECEMBER 2012Farlander1 is a disgruntled boffin who, in this two-year hiatus, has gone from spending weekends playing the trombone in the state orchestra to playing the French horn2 in the state orchestra, much to the dismay of musical ears, while keeping weekdays occupied corrupting younglings in the ways of Science. A gaming freak who loves single-player and co-op action games, especially those that involve a lot of (1) guns, (2) explosions, and (3) zombies, Farlander is also a bibliophile and speed-reader, and has a disgusting collection of books resting upon groaning, sagging shelves, the catalogue for which may be found at Farlander's website (though it is doubtful that this catalogue will ever be complete). Farlander has also been exploring the artistic side of life at Deviant Art. While Farlander makes no guarantees that viewing all artwork produced during the hiatus will not cause semi-permanent retinal damage or insanity, you are nevertheless welcome to explore the gallery at your own risk. Farlander is also currently accepting commission work.  Farlander can be contacted at Farlander [at] mail2hyperspace.com. Those who are not up to stringing electrons may visit Farlander at Farlander.co.nr, Farlander's - now sorely neglected - personal website. It is highly improbable that Farlander will ever reveal Farlander's whereabouts, but it should be safe to say that it is nowhere near BBC base, and that the official language of Farlander's country is not English3. Farlander is currently campaigning for Microbe Rights and Respect at H2G2! Please pay a visit to the Campaign Headquarters to learn more about the cause and to find out more about how you and microbes can live together peacefully! (or, better yet, sign up as a member and get the priviledge to rant or grouse all you like about microbes with other equally vocal members) Bats in the Belfry A rather long time ago, Farlander was part of the three-headed entity Bartok the Bat, who came into being for the purpose of writing a Guide Entry about the composer Bela Bartok. Alas, it has been about a year since Farlander last heard from Jen and Arwen. Perhaps there is some other way to bring closure to this abandoned project? Useful H2G2 Links Browse I
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Solo Efforts (well, mostly) 1. Edited Articles (43) 2. Recommended Articles Work in progress. 3. Articles in Peer Review Nothing here for the moment. 4. What's become of these? † Editor's Choice Item
* with input from other researchers Collaborative Efforts 1. Edited Articles 2. In Peer Review/Recommended Articles 3. Articles in limbo Edited Articles that Farlander managed to get a word in edgewise
Club, society and campaign badges. Don't you find the names of the days of the week mind-numbingly dull? Why not call them Sodit, Wimpy, Wibble, Thing, Poets, Doobry and Dontbry instead? They certainly have more character. | Feel the urge to blow your horn? Come join the Musicians' Guild and let rrrrip. Musicians' Guild founded by Fragilis, maintained by Danny B and Farlander. | The Royal H2G2 Historians' Society. And no, we're not just a bunch of doddering old gits lurking in cobwebby attics, drinking Lapsang Souchong tea. Founded by Jodan. | And just what's wrong with reading a dictionary? It keeps the gears in your head grinding, you learn new things - and people think you're a Space Cadet. Founded by Viojen. | Microbes may be tiny, but they're the ones who got here first! Show our ancestors a little more respect. Founded by Farlander. | Know the difference between fact and fad? Don't believe in alternative medicine or magnet therapies? Then the Association of Researcher Skeptics is for you. Founded by Naita. | Defenders of Skepticism - a supporter of the Association of Researcher Skeptics movement. Founded by R. Daneel Olivaw. |
Previous guises: detached from reality/diagnosed with hypergraphia/the severely distracted/Hitman III: Contracts hits stores in April!/now has two wheels!/never let a disgruntled boffin play Hitman!/disgruntled boffin/campaigning for microbes at A1001854/mired in mediocrity/1/3 bat, 2/3s batty/scientist, and quackspert of things that go blastedly missing on Sodit mornings Farlander joined H2G2 on Wimpy, 15th October 2002. 
1 This is a joke. Farlander is so named because Farlander is obviously from very, very far away, relative to the H2G2 base. And the Star Wars expanded universe character Keyan Farlander is from Agamar, which is basically YokelTown. As Researcher Farlander is also from YokelTown, Farlander thinks this is an incredibly funny joke.
2 Whose sole purpose in an orchestra seems to be accumulating disgusting quantities of spit.
3 In fact, if you really wanted to get technical and sort Farlander's spoken languages by country, ethnicity and then fluency, then English would be neither Farlander's first nor second language.
4 There should be more plusses (+) available!!
5 Is it really true what they said about Nighthoover being killed in a car crash? Somebody *please* enlighten Farlander! Until then, Farlander will maintain vigil in hope of Nighthoover returning to H2G2 someday.
 | | People have been talking about this Guide Entry. Here are the most recent Conversations: |
Welcome back
(Last Posting: Dec 1, 2012)
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(Last Posting: Nov 28, 2010)
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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. After two long years
(Dec 1, 2012)
I'm home. I'm finally home once more. 
After the terrible heartbreak in being told that, because I'd failed to make the account conversion in 2011, I could never access my old account *ever* again - I got my keys back. And it was all thanks to a friend who'd kicked me in the rear.
There's so much dust and debris in here due to my appalling negligence, and I don't know when, if ever, I'll pick up my pen again, but for now -
[dusts off old armchair and lowers self into it.]
Click here to discuss this
(8 replies,
Latest reply: Dec 3, 2012)
Hiatus
(Mar 7, 2006)
Greetings to all. I'm not dead; at least, I'm sure I'm not.
It seems like forever since I last logged on, and even longer since I last wrote anything for the Guide. (And I used to write almost every month). [sighs] I miss this place. I wish I had more time to write (I have material for at least three new articles, and a couple more are in various stages of completion), but my time and attention are currently split between far too many things. I'm hoping things will change soon... 
Later,
Far.
Click here to discuss this
(5 replies,
Latest reply: May 13, 2006)
Too much mango juice
(Dec 28, 2005)
Well, Merry Christmas everybody!  ... Um, okay, it's December 28 and I'm four days late... but there are 12 Days of Christmas, right? Whatever. It's got to be the thought that counts.
Anyway, family came up north for the hols; had a great time, in spite of the fact that the big holiday stampedes almost reduced me to buckwheat pancake (damn my pitiful height!!!), and I wound up having more meat than I normally eat in two weeks. But life is now returning to normalcy, and I'm back in my apartment with enough food to open a convenience store.
Holiday stories to share, anyone?
Click here to discuss this
(2 replies,
Latest reply: Dec 29, 2005)
Vote-Rigging
(Oct 24, 2005)
I'm annoyed. For two weeks now the voting for our game box art contest at HF has been going on. Thirty-odd submissions, but it's been clear for the past week which artwork people think of as the best (although it's a race to see if art #1 or #2 will win because they're separated by no more than one or two votes at any given time), especially because all the people who voted for them have sung praises for the submissions.
And then this morning, for the hell of it, I check the poll results (I know I'm not going to win anytime soon; I'm in 4th place, but I'm happy enough about it)... and I find that this one boxart called 'Logo', which no more than two people have voted for in the past week and a half, has suddenly acquired a grand total of *44* votes (which is more than 20% of the total number of votes). WTF??? Of course I know - and I suppose anybody who's been following the poll would as well - that there's been some kind of vote- rigging going on. I checked the members directory and bingo, there's a whole slew of new members on the board, who have not posted so much as a single message at the forum; what's more, they all have short usernames that make absolutely no sense (like 'abc', 'zxz' and 'rul'), which infers that the person or persons (I'm very sure it's 'person') who created the names wasn't bothered to choose a decent one .... because the account would only serve ONE PURPOSE. Namely - to boost the number of votes for that particular submission. Sure, I'd suspend my disbelief and allow for people who have been holding back until the eleventh hour and who have only just made up their minds to make last minute votes... but that submission, while not exactly a complete piece of horse excrement (well, actually I think it was; very little effort had certainly gone into it), was *far* from being one of the best. And certainly nobody had commented positively on it for the past week.
So. Vote-rigging. Of course, our administrators are smarter than that, and an IP check would reveal that all the accounts were spawned by one, or only a couple of people; even if the person had been smart enough to use different computers at different locations, well... it's still obvious that his?her? work was in no way popular, and had mysteriously acquired over 40 votes overnight, which just about screams, 'I'm cheating!!!'. The question is why anybody would attempt something so stupid that (1) is a blatantly obvious attempt to cheat one's way into winning, (2) screams, 'I want attention!' and (3) is only going to make him/her vastly unpopular (or very likely result in suspension or a ban) the minute their identity is revealed after the voting ends. FFS, is winning that limited Japanese edition of the last game all that important? or is it just winning for the sake of winning? Does he really think that his work is so great, even in the absence of votes to support this, that he feels justified in rallying for support or voting for his own submission? or is this some kind of twisted compensation for an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy?
Down to vote-riggers! 
Click here to discuss this
(8 replies,
Latest reply: Oct 27, 2005)
The horror of math
(Oct 20, 2005)
I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry:
I was at this game forum I frequent (hey, I'm a gamer geek), and one of our regulars posted his homework in the off-topic forum, asking for help. It was the formula for a curve; he wanted to know the x and y values and turning point: y= -2x² -7x+5.
And this guy who replied to that post wrote, and I QUOTE:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
X = 5/3
and Y = 5
That is, if I'm not completely retarded, which I probably am. You've gotta substitue 0's in the Y spot, to solve for X, or in the X spot to solve for Y.
Doing shit like centriods currently in math, lucky for you it entails alot of (X, Y).
X-
Y = -2x2 -7x+5
0 = 4x-7x+5
0 = -3x+5
3x = 5
x = 5/3
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 !!!!!!!
Since when was it taught in school that 2x²=4x? [buries head in hands]
Anyway, after setting the guy straight, I worked out the values of x as 0.6085 and -4.1085 (to 4 decimal places) using the quadratic formula. Because I'm never confident of my answers even when I know I'm right, I got Ham to do it as well... and I got the second shock of the day when he told me I was dead wrong, and that x was 2.5 and 1. Which, when I replaced the values in the formula, didn't make sense. The whole thing utterly deflated me... until I realised that he'd mistaken the formula for 2x² -7x+5! whereupon he arrived at the same answers as I did.
But anyway.... 2x²=4x!!!! I despair at the modern American education system. 
Click here to discuss this
(4 replies,
Latest reply: Oct 20, 2005)
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| | | | | Most Recent Guide Entries | | Most Recent Edited Entries | | |
These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there. From h2g2:
A54846840
There should be a badge for it (Jul 24, 2009)
From h2g2:
A13758159
Achalasia (Aug 16, 2006)
From h2g2:
A5652155
Sleep Paralysis (Sep 9, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4037221
Classic Poisons (May 9, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4037212
A Brief History of Poisoning (May 9, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4024612
Infamous Historical Poisoners (May 7, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3856683
Guitar Songs For Beginners (Apr 3, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3800891
Hypergraphia (Mar 17, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3788544
The Legend and History of Danny Boy (Mar 15, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3785123
Extinction Level Events (Mar 14, 2005)
Click here to see more Guide Entries
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These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2:
A6092471
Sleep Paralysis (Jan 10, 2006)
From h2g2:
A4350755
A Brief History of Poisoning (Jul 28, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3826163
Syphilis (Jul 22, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4197585
Infamous Historical Poisoners (Jul 15, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3826136
The Legend and History of the Song 'Danny Boy' (Jul 14, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4113983
Classic Poisons (Jun 13, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3816830
Ichthyosis Foetalis and Harlequin Babies (May 11, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3851093
Hypergraphia (Apr 22, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3769581
Artificial Preservation of Human Remains: Techniques Past and Present (Mar 10, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3769554
Artificial Preservation of Human Remains: Early Mummifiers (Mar 10, 2005)
Click here to see more Edited Entries
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