Greetings, fellow something-or-other!
And after mumbling this, Semisomna rolls over and goes back to sleep.1
You look around, bewilderedly, wondering why exactly you are here. An odd place, really. 2 For some reason the windows are sideways and there are large, flowered pillows hanging from the ceiling. The walls are papered with pictures of daisies, chocolates and purple plastic elephants. There is a large sofa in the middle of the room, a brilliant lime green with more flowered pillows on it. Semisomna is slumped at the wicker table, next to a glass of some sort of tea - you think - since it is labeled 'Tea' in jovial letters. She appears to be asleep. Inexplicably, instead of leaving, you sit down and wait...
Links
These should probably be presented on an attractive silver tray with eels painted around the edges, for no apparent reason. Although there are so very few of them - the eels might get lonely.
The Pink Ponzo's Page. I was going to say something sarcastic and clever about how she hadn't put anything on this page yet, but she finally did, so it's worth checking out. And she cordially requests that everyone "write something stupid on her page." Just so you know.
Snontopetu's Page. Worship the Goddess of Small Furry Creatures, though she insists on denying her divinity in her intro. I don't quite understand that. At least you can worship the small furry creatures, or something. You should probably go do that. And while you're at it, read the illuminating Book of Hat, a work in painfully slow progress, but illuminating nonetheless.
The Page of Otis of the Foggy Feet Another very nifty page, this one belonging to somebody not actually related to me. Also, a good source of monkey jokes. Go look, I command you.
Cool Guide Things that I have found
Due to a certain egocentricity on my part, most of these things are places that have let me have titles. 3 I know there's other stuff up here, too, but these are the only ones that come to mind
The place that let me be Keeper of crumpled paperbacks, mangled paperclips, and all things upside-down or backwards.
The place that let me be Defender of Informed Indecision (or at least the pursuit thereof). I guess that title is slightly less a result of random title-grubbing than the other one.
The Royal Society of Procrastinators , or some such object. They finally got around to letting me join, for which I commend them, although it might go against their principles.
The H2G2 Vegetarian Society, of which I am a member.
University of Mice? Is that right? I haven't really looked at it, but I thought Snonto 4 might find it interesting. Possibly.
How to be Pretentious. Although I'm sure most of you don't need any help with that.
Colors for GuideML, because the last time I looked for this page I couldn't find it. Of course, that was because I didn't spell the word colours. Also known as, the Lazy Person's List of HTML colors.
Reasons why Physics is good. Or bad, depending on your perspective.
The Book of the Future site. Another thing I keep not being able to find.
Where to find the Infocom games Bureaucracy and HHGTTG. They're text adventures, and I'm horrible at them, but they're amazingly cool.
Lengthy Description of Me
So, anyway, who am I?
I'm a freshman at Swarthmore College. I've decided that this is a good thing. It's all very exciting and stuff, and anyone out there who's wondering where they should go to college should probably come here... that's just my personal opinion, of course!
I'm eighteen. I have ten fingers, ten toes, a nose, and long brown hair. Also ears. Eyes, deep brown and nearsighted. Probably several other things, such as the fingers with which I am typing this, but nothing really worthy of mention.
Pretending to be who I'm not, trying to figure out who I want to become...sometimes it doesn't really matter. I kept saying I was going to major in physics. I don't know, I still might. I like to play the recorder, read random science fiction, and wear jewelry made out of paperclips. I have reasonably sized collections of marbles, pennies, and pretty rocks, all of which are moping around sadly in my room at home. And three - no - four journals full of poetry. And a dictionary! 5
I doubt that you will e-mail me. But if you'd care to, it's semisomna@n2g2.com. I also have AIM - my screen name's Jaigoldy, and if you're ever really bored...assume that I am, too. And then, if you're really bored, take a peek at an excerpt from the lengthy piece of drivel 6 that I'm writing this month.7
Return to reality?
A flying monkey wanders in, pokes at the still-sleeping Semisomna, and leaves.
She looks up, startled. Who are you, she mumbles, or at least you think that's what she says. Would you...do you...why are you here? Rather uselessly.
Since she is not saying anything else, you turn towards the door to leave, and see a large sign:
