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Top Notch Preacher and Bearer of the Evil Twin's Moustache
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Out in what 'they' call the 'real world
2legs was, through entirely his own fault born some time on the 9th November 1976 in a badger cet on the outskirts of Suffolk UK.
During most of his formative years 2legs was involved with various elite badger attack squads in the fenland areas, embarking on multiple assaults on neighbouring rabbit colonies.
Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur and its reality in ecstasy and in ecstatic love.
1
By a strange fluke of chance, but mainly due to a large swamp creature and a bewildering array of petunia's and lamposts, 2legs embarked on education which managed to include 3 A levels, a first class honers degree, a Masters degree and absolutely zilth ability to spel or do math.
Life is just High School with money 2
Currently residing in Cambridge UK, 2legs lives in a gothic mansion built by the late Winstone Blubberhouse and which is guarded by platoons of trained attack badgers and wild swamp creatures.
7. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3
2legs's passtimes include
-
cooking
-
drinking alcohol
-
reading
-
messing about with computer recording sofware and playing guitar and Bass and listening to music
-
sex, pervertions of varying degrees
For heavens sake, it's a person you get attracted to, not a set of genitals!
4
2legs is a scorpio starsign, but doesn't give much credance to such things. He has a wardrobe of largely black shirts and jeans, and drawers full of black briefs, pants, knickers and thongs.
Pleasure only starts once the worm has got into the fruit, to become delightful happiness must be tainted with poison.
5
he also owns a mobile phone and a very nice set of monitor speakers that he managed to break. he hasn't, as yet fallen over in his new black leather ankle high boots, we are sure this will change. Many things change, many things can change, things that can change often do change, and often the new direction is both exciting and frightening, embrace change, live change.
What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter. 6
Registered on HooToo on something like the 22nd March 2001, after not doing much with an old long lost account from December 2000, I've been... well...
....Well here's what other people have to say abouts me on here.... .... -
'You're Just weird'
- Moving On
-
'there's not much of you left to see ... thank Bob for that thong'.... 'he's a great bloke, a funny online persona, and an all round bundle of great.'...
- Roymondo
-
'God, this guy can drink'
--- Skankyrich
-
'2legs is the uncaused cause. He is his own cannonball, timeless and immutable... Scary thought huh?'
---- BouncyBleepImZentrum
-
'2legs does a mean balloon dance'
---- lil
-
'we love him. my life would be poorer without him to brighten my day'
----- Tabitca
-
'even I have heard of his mighty thong! I am thankful not to have seen it.'
---- Not Him
-
'God this guy hoovers a lot'
----- General Tamaire the Walrus
-
'You trod on my sanity and broke it'
----Brown Eyed Girl
-
'youre like a sister to me'
-----Serephina
-
'Not a friend more a way of life'
---Granny Weatherwax
-
'You were mental'
- --fords
-
'your velvet tones while talking on the phon .... I wanted to bundle you up, keep you for my own personal
pleasure and introduce you to my nan, as she would think you are a darling! ... a fantastic drinking/toilet buddy!...'
----Genie
-
'he's a pervert,'
---ReddyFreddy
-
'There is a theory which states that if anyone ever understands what 2legs says or discovers why he is here, 2legs will instantly dissappear and be replaced
by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened.'
----Clive the Flying Ostrach
-
'I love 2legs!
blush'
--magwitch
-
'What's that?
The Hootooanarian 2Legs?
erm
blush
I love 'im!'
---Footbacon
-
'I
love
2legs 2
smooch'
---Tefkat
-
'My badger loves 2legs even if my needles don't'
---Granny Weatherwax
-
'I dont really know 2legs that well, but I'm sure I'll love him anyway.'
---Bulletproof Cupid~
-
'I wanna love him and hug him and squeeze him and call him George
loveblush'
----Mrs Bojangles
-
'Not well acquainted with him enough thus far but all in all he appears rather a jolly good egg.Total tart, of course..'
---Cloud
-
'A tart, a slapper, a hussy, a fishwife, a beagle...'
---Roymondo
-
'ees lovely e is! An absolutely adorable bloke! Totally bonkers, mind, but still a sweetie.
kiss'
--Beatrice
-
'Here's to 2legs: Friend of badgers, enemy of inattentive bicyclists rounding his street corner.'
---Count Zero
-
'I almost sometimes don't mind 2legs..... much...'
---Reddyfreddy
-
'I'm admitting nothing until I see this (in)famous thong!'
---Thatprat
-
'I love 2legs too.. That carbunkle on the face of HooToo that he is...'
---SWL
Here on HooToo In the court of Queen 2legs!
The might of the Glowing Pickle page about forthcoming Meets Great h2g2 Community Events of the Pasth2g2 Meets ArchiveLondon Spring-Summer meet 2011- A79731967
Is this account from where London meets are organised.
I survived bbc_id Sign-On |
 UnOfficial h2g2 Lurker |
Official
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Fight the cause
Search
Search, and search again
Help find the diety
The prophet
The one mighty prophet
The prophet nighthoover, son of Bob
the true ruler of the small space at the back of pieces of furniture, created as a result of the skirting board being proud of the wall by half an inch, therefore having the consequence of preventing furniture, such as wall units, from sitting flush with the wall, and the place where the dust does collect, and which only nighthoover can render Nighthooverly and nighthooverable in its being
Come pay reverence to nighthoover, the prophet, the mighty one, the most Hooverly of beings, and join in the search for the prophet, and campaign for a nighthoover smiley at
The nighthoover Shrine n i g h t h o o v e r
BoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoB
BoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoB
BoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoB
everybody do the Hoover,
yeah,
everybody do the Hoover
yeah,
everybody do the hoover,
like we did last year
zoom
take the nozzel man,
contact the floor,
cause we doing the hoover,
the floor won't be dirty no more,
do the hoover,
yeah,
do the Hoover
oh yeah,
we goina hoover man like you never seen before,
Day light dazzel,
sun too right,
we goina hoover man;
all through the night,
do the hoover man,
do the hoover now,
suck it all up into the electric dust-cow,
everybody do the Hoover,
yeah,
everybody do the Hoover
yeah,
everybody do the hoover,
like we did last year
zoom
night time falls,
but between the walls,
the carpet covered floor,
hoover zoom zoom zoom zoom
zoom zoom zoom zoom
i'm goina hoover in my room
BoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoBoB BoBBoBBoBBoB
BoBBoBBoBBoBBoBBoB BoB BoBBoBBoB
BoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoB BoBBoBBoBBoB BoB
Lettuce spry mhrrly so
Please mind the gap
7
I have found true happieness in being allowed to have my very own adopted smokable hash-fish called Ganja!; Which I was grateful for being given by
Tummyfish
Here he is:: Ganja::
n i g h t h o o v e r
Email; mark (dot) Faben (at) Gmail (dot) com
My Web site Accessibility testing
Or, my more interesting site which is My music site 1 George Bataille 2 Frank Zappa 3 Things I Wish I'd Known! 4 dragonqueen - eternally free and forever untamed - insomniac extraordinaire with a new scar on her belly, finally in the River Lair with cat and heavy boxes 5 George Bataille 6
P.G. Wodehouse
7
rambling fruit cake wimbles mhrily over laws a shuddered mhriley with manafold incarnations of laminated kitchen countertops made in Spain
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Subbing "Making Pitta Bread"
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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. Reading for the bar..
(6 Days Ago)
or, more aptly, bars, and brewrys... and beer fests... Twitter has suddenly turned into beer porn; I'm following so many local, and a few not so local (but in places I sometimes go), brewerys, pubs, bars etc... and, apparently as I retweeted a tweet from a bar not far from me, I've won a 'golden envelope', I've no idea what a golden envelope is, unless its just a regular white envelope someone has peed on Oh well... its a bar I've never been in... if its some free beer or food, I guess I'll have* to visit it
I've also been spending way* too much time reading through the list of beers for the Cambridge 40th beer festavil (happening in about a week)...
Strange thing is, I seem to be spending more time reading about beer, and pubs, than actually drinking beer, or being in pubs I might make it along to the Cambridge beer festavil, although it looks like being grotty weather for it, yet again <snowballs>
The onion and poppy seed bread I made, yesterday came out fabulusly... it really is the tastiest bread I've ever had, whether purchased or that I've made myself... If there was any kind of justice, I oughta be able to transform the recipe to a commercial one, and market it... but looking at the dredful statistics on peoples bread-buying, here in the UK, it seems most people have absoltely no taste wahtsoever and prefer to eat utter tasteless textureless rubbish... I mean, the little Tesco's near me, is maybe one minutes walk from a little bakery, the little bakery does fresh made bread, that is pretty good, and which is cheaper than the pre-packed, mass produced national branded bread the suppermarket sells... and they do* sell it... so, by prefernce people go to buy the tasteless rubbish, rather than the cheaper or same priced, tastier, better version... <shrrug> off out into town soon, with William Must figure out if there is any shopping I need Click here to discuss this
(4 replies,
Latest reply: 5 Days Ago)
plummering, more strange maths, andmethadone.
(2 Weeks Ago)
`
\Found an E-Mail, arrived at some point, overnight/this morning, from Scottish power, saying my monthly direct debit was to increase from circa £80, to £180. I recall thinking it weird, I'd not got an E-mail, initially, on giving the readings to the web-site, and getting the page, on the screen, for my account, saying that the DD was increasing, but hey, better late than never.
Noticed, that it had their phone number on it; I know previously, they used to hide this, and not give it out, I thinks they might have gotten told off for making it hard to find, so that is good... right.
Few hours later.
they've sent the same E-mail out again.
Oh. no. they haven't.
same as first E-mail, in wording, etc. Only, this one, says they're increasing my monthly direct debit to £140.
Plummber (new one, not the dwarf who fitted my boiler), phones, he's coming tomorrow, 8.30 in the morning, to fiddle with my stop cock, fit the taps, and put new sealant round the bath
As preperation, I gave teh tiles round the bath/behind the taps, a decent clean with bleach, to try get the mildew off and then with ordinary cleaner spray, to just clean the tiles up a bit
Oh, and methadone... I came up with a plausible theory, earlier, as to why alcohol, whisky sours, and manhattens, and champaign, specifically, is a methadone, to carbohydrates, for my lodger... He liked the theory, and then poured whisky anyhow I then expanded on this theory, and realised, as I sat there, on the purple toadstool, munching my supper, that for me, ham is a bacon methadone... (smoked Polish ham, butter, and toasted onion poppy seed bread I made yesterday )
I might buy black pudding tomorrow... and more ham, that was the last of it I'll make do with the bacon and eggs I have left, or I'll end up eating too much and I've lost about half a stone or more, now, since Christmas I'll need to buy new smaller waist jeans again, soon, these ones are seirously loose now and I only got them, on moving down a size, last year
Ordered up a leather tool; the one for punching holes for belts, today, so I can carry on using my new but now on its last hole, handmade leather belt with the old fashioned buckle I like Whilst I was at it, I ordered a new penddrive/flash drive, 8 GB, and branded, for a tad over five quid, with free delivery gosh... The price on them has really shot down
Oh, and my parcel arrived yesterday,...
Must try call Scottish Power to sort out their eratic and extortonate billing/DD.... Its going to be so* hard to explain to them, how monthly direct debits covering fuel usage work... clearly they don't understand the idea, that in winter months, you use more than what the DD covers, made up for by the summer months, paying out far more than what one is actually using
Off out into town tomorrow, after the plummer has done his plummering, with William, to do a little shopping and visit the butchers, maybe the veg stal if it is there, which thinking about it, it might not and probably also to go to the Polish supermarket, for ham, probably more smoked cheese, and certianly another pack of the cherry jaffacakes, and I might experiment, with the other* jaffacakes they had; not orange, they had them too, but another type... only we couldn't translate what it was, either by the words, or figure out from the picture... so that will be exciting... like a big giant scarey adventure, exploring.... only in food ... jaffackes specifically might get more of the choc truffles too
Had chicken ceaser salad for dinner... with a smattering of the smoked Polish cheese Still got a block of Austrian smoked cheddar I've not started yet hmmm.... might get sausages tomorro as well as the black pudding... and maybe some more eggs...
Click here to discuss this
(11 replies,
Latest reply: 2 Weeks Ago)
Strange maths.
(3 Weeks Ago)
Very very very strange maths. Now, as I'd be the first to admit, my maths isn't that great, about 1/3 of the time, and the other 6/8ths of the time, its moderatly poor, south by south west, 3 to 5, rain in south at first, 1018, rising slowely.
But. Gosh... Even I can tell there is soemthing odd going on with the maths as performed by my energy provider. Something very fishy indeed, in fact, something quite potentially more fishy than the fishermans whifes, most fishy fish pie, served ontop of a bed of fishy fish, with fish sauce, side helpings of fishyness, and all smothered in grated fish, and washed down with pints of fish fishy fish porter.... on a frishday, obviously...
Hmmm.... Tricky thing is, to work out what they've done wrong, I need to be better at maths, have more fish, and probably also be able to get more detailed information out of htem than is possible....
All I do know, is on submitting my gas and electric readings, the bill is changed, from estimated, to actual, and shows me at £160+ in credit, and of late I've been paying £80 per month, to pay them, and end up with this credit in teh account.... and... yet, they calculate apparently it ain't enough, so my direct debit is to go up to £123 per month. Unless I'm missing something really obvious on the page, and they've just displayed information so incredibably badly, as to make it seem it was in credit, wehn it wasn't... taht'll nearly be half my months income before the I get from my lodger, going on gas and electric... isn't the bill meant to go down now I've had new more effecient boiler put in, and put in new replacement sealed unit windows?
Click here to discuss this
(15 replies,
Latest reply: 2 Weeks Ago)
restraint...
(4 Weeks Ago)
"I will not eat the sausages I just cooked. I will not eat the sausages I just cooked" Grilled up the sausages I bought yesterday, whilst I was grilling the bacon for lunch, plan is not* to eat them, now, and instead save em for dinner tonight and probably tomorrow night too So difficult... so very difficult Mind, the bacon and fried egg, on toast, for lunch has at least left me full up at the moment... So there is hope yet "Must not eat the sausages" Click here to discuss this
(29 replies,
Latest reply: 3 Weeks Ago)
Away for a while..
(4 Weeks Ago)
From tomorrow... err, today I guess, looking at the time Must go to bed, need to pack in the morning... Off to William's for about a week Click here to discuss this
(28 replies,
Latest reply: 4 Weeks Ago)
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Click here to see more Conversations | |
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These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there. From h2g2:
A87795904
Traditional Mushy Peas - A Great British Delicacy (20 Hours Ago)
From h2g2:
A87789677
The FBI plan to control and take over the world by capturing all the cattle in the world and stealing our cheese. (Mar 26, 2013)
From h2g2:
A87774411
Pierogi (Polish dumplings) and overview and recipes. (Oct 19, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87772387
The Toasted teacake, a recipe of an influential social butter-receptacle (Sep 25, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87771414
Onion and poppy seed bread, the recipe (Sep 15, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87765123
A container for butter - The English Crumpet (Jul 16, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87764430
Lactobacillus (Jul 7, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87760605
Zen and the art of making zen baguettes (May 31, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87738637
Mushey peas (work in progress). (Jan 26, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87734145
2legs's most tastiest scrumptious multigrain bread rolls. (Jan 8, 2012)
Click here to see more Guide Entries
| |
These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2:
A87784591
Making Pitta Bread - A Bread Junkie's Quick Fix (5 Weeks Ago)
From h2g2:
A87780388
The Toasted Teacake, a Recipe for an Influential Social Butter-receptacle (5 Weeks Ago)
From h2g2:
A87773980
Onion and Poppy Seed Bread, the Recipe (Jan 13, 2013)
From h2g2:
A87767554
Zen and the Art of Making Baguettes (Sep 9, 2012)
From h2g2:
A87624994
How To Be Antisocial in an Open-Plan Office (Sep 28, 2011)
From h2g2:
A60766518
Tips For Cold Mornings (Jan 4, 2010)
From h2g2:
A57221219
Chinchillas (Nov 16, 2009)
From h2g2:
A55727247
Reusing Baby Equipment (Aug 17, 2009)
From h2g2:
A43702463
The Cuica - a Brazilian Drum (Dec 2, 2008)
From h2g2:
A42694806
How to Guide a Blind Person (Nov 17, 2008)
Click here to see more Edited Entries
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Personal Space | Journal Entries Skankyrich [?] Personal Space | Journal Entries Solnushka (Foundation) Personal Space | Journal Entries Tabitca Personal Space | Journal Entries Taff Agent of kaos Personal Space | Journal Entries Taff at home Personal Space | Journal Entries The Liquid Warrior (Vescere bracis meis) Personal Space | Journal Entries The Luggage (7 + 5 + 4) * 2 + 2 * 5 = 42 Personal Space | Journal Entries the_jon_m - bluesman of the parish Personal Space | Journal Entries Thomas Blee Personal Space | Journal Entries threesecondmemory Personal Space | Journal Entries Tonto Personal Space | Journal Entries toxicblonde Personal Space | Journal Entries TRiG (Ireland) "Any sufficiently analysed magic is indistinguishable from science!" Personal Space | Journal Entries Trin Tragula Personal Space | Journal Entries tsarina Personal Space | Journal Entries UberGek {Oo-behr Geek} Personal Space | Journal Entries Vicki Virago - rest in peace Marco Personal Space | Journal Entries Vip Personal Space | Journal Entries Virtuouschuffed Personal Space | Journal Entries vogonpoet (AViators at A13264670) Personal Space | Journal Entries Wilma Neanderthal Personal Space | Journal Entries Witty Moniker - Community Editor Personal Space | Journal Entries YalsonKSA - "I'm glad birthdays don't come round regularly, as I'm not sure I could do that too often." Personal Space | Journal Entries Yes,I am the Lady Lowena!Get with the programme... Personal Space | Journal Entries You can call me TC - Ready for Reims - June 15th? Pas de panique! A87780612 A33659210 Personal Space | Journal Entries Z Personal Space | Journal Entries Zak T Duck Personal Space | Journal Entries Zantic - Who is this woman?? Personal Space | Journal Entries
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