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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. Elektra the Brave
(Last Week)
This week, Elektra has been busy making the world safe. Let me tell you how.
First, on Thursday, she bravely faced one of her worst fears: a snake.
Now, Elektra is sanguine about stuff that scares the daylights out of me - like cicadas. She will cheerfully remove any and all bugs from the flat. And she's murder on the cats when they attack helpless salamanders. She relocates the innocent creatures to the great outdoors, and then chides the cats for trying to eat the tails the salamanders have dropped in their panic to get away from the pesky predators.
Dropped salamander tails give cats a belly-ache and result in cleanup issues.
Thursday morning, as we sat on the covered porch, we looked up to see an inquistive (and, to me, attractive) face peering in through the screen door. This happens a lot - it's usually birds or squirrels inquiring, 'Noms?' But no, this face was reptilian.
Elektra said, 'That's a very long salamander...wait! It's...a snake! No noms for YOU!'
'Hullo,' I said, 'What are you doing here?' I went for a closer look, since I know that Elektra hates snakes. I studied it. 'It's okay, it's a black rat snake. Harmless. Helpful, in fact.'
Elektra went to call the office. 'How big is it?' they wanted to know, so she asked.
'About four feet long,' I replied.
'Yikes,' she said.
The snake slithered off into the woods, and the maintenance guy wasn't fussed, since black rat snakes aren't venomous. He said his granny used to put them in her attic to catch mice. I told him we just wanted the office to know in case a neighbour freaked. 'There are a lot of nervous Yankees around,' I commented.
Today, Elektra did something even better than snake-spotting: she saved Time.
She showed me the note from the mailbox:
'You have a parcel in the Office.
Please pick it up promptly so there will be room for tomorrow.'
I scratched my head. 'You'd better get it, then,' I said. 'We wouldn't want tomorrow to be cancelled for lack of space.'
The parcel turned out to be our hypoallergenic soap from Yves Rocher. Now we can take a shower, free from the fear of premature apocalypse.
Here's to a snake-free tomorrow scented with French soap. Allons-y!
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(30 replies,
Latest reply: Last Week)
Build It and the Aliens Will Come
(2 Weeks Ago)
Some company is building a ghost city. For $1 billion.
The ghost city is going to be in New Mexico. Rather like the fictional town of Eureka, this fake city with no inhabitants will feature all mod cons: they'll be testing self-driving cars, self-flushing toilets, and automated washing machines.
There's no word on whether the houses will sound like Neil Grayston 'with a girlie voice'.
Here's the kicker: the faux city is based on Rock Hill, South Carolina.
Now, Rock Hill is a nice place, but why Rock Hill? City on the Catawba River. home of Winthrop University?
I remember when Winthrop petitioned the state to become a university (upgrade from 'college'). One of the legislators said in session - I heard it on the radio - 'Don't let them tell you this won't cost nothin'.' (We assume the legislator - pronounced locally 'LEDGE-iss-late-TOHR', so you know they know how to spell it - was not an alumnus.) Maybe they picked Rock Hill because it was pretty and demonstrated all the needs they wanted to meet in a community?
Take a look at some of the pictures of Rock Hill here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Hill,_South_Carolina
You can read more about the project here:
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/scientific...st-future-technology-005707004.html
Here's the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5du3kQIzLI
I can think of a scifi story - several, in fact - based on this. What could go right, what could go wrong, what the Doctor would say if he landed there in the tardis, how the Sontarans/Daleks/Cybermen declare war on it...
Oh, and I can imagine all the Sirius Cybernetics talking machinery they're going to have. Ten years down the road, if you end up with a talking toaster that sounds like this, you'll know who to blame:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtY77SS4R-Q
I defy you to figure out more than 50% of what they're saying. I can't, and I'm a linguist who used to live in southwest NORTH Carolina. 
We are relieved that the 'ghost city' isn't going to look like one of the numerous US ghost towns. Here's one built by an Englishman. I thought you might enjoy it:
http://www.ghosttowngallery.com/
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(24 replies,
Latest reply: 6 Days Ago)
Doctor Who, Star Trek - Finding the Perfect Universe?
(3 Weeks Ago)
This past week, Elektra and I have embarked on an orgy of watching the new 'Doctor Who'. So far, we're up to 2006. We might catch up on all the doings of the Daleks, Cybermen, and whatnot, one of these days, if the Netflix videos hold out.
We're enjoying them. We were always fans of the old 'Doctor Who', way back in the 1980s, and the new ones are fun. Clever, witty, and the scenery no longer falls apart at a touch. The music's too loud, causing problems with my hearing-aid balance, but otherwise, it's a great show. Gives us lots to talk about and analyse.
By the way, we thought Christopher Eccleston was just superb. And some of the moments in the series are genuinely moving.
Why do I bring this up? After all, it's very old news, discussing six-year-old TV episodes.
Well, we got to thinking about the kinds of universes people enjoy creating in science fiction. And I ran across this excellent, from-the-heart blog entry by somebody. Please take a few minutes to read it, you'll laugh and then get thoughtful. There are a couple of comments. Read them, too.
http://veronabotsford.blogspot.com/...ral-analysis-of-doctor-who-and.html
Now, I think this is an interesting take on things. First, because I've always found the Doctor a much more interesting character than Captain Picard. (Note to those bloggers: both are played by British actors. I don't know if that means anything.) I like the Doctor better, because I live in hope that somewhere, there is a world that tolerates eccentricity better than this one. I'm eccentric, you see.
I'm fully in agreement with this blogger when she says that living aboard the Enterprise is a whole lot like being stuck in an office building. Not much fun. I remember the episode where Sonya, a new engineering officer, first met Captain Picard. She spilled hot chocolate on him. Typical office moment: you meet the boss, and something socially awkward happens.
What the blogger and her correspondents are saying, though, is even more interesting: they're saying some people (probably not only in the US) *like it this way*. Before we say, 'what the...?', I'd like to relate a memory.
Back in the 1960s, when 'Classic' Star Trek was originally shown, I enjoyed it, simply because we weren't spoiled for choice when it came to primetime scifi. However, I watched it dismissively. The constant bleating about how superior humans were annoyed the life out of me. When the series was over, I did not mourn it.
But others did. A few years later, when I started graduate school, I met one of the early 'Trekkies'. This young woman was so painfully shy that she gave up her language studies rather than be confronted by the horror of teaching classes with six students in them. But on the weekends, she and her friends got together and dressed in homemade Star Trek uniforms, recreating the ambience of the Enterprise.
This was 1975. There was no Star Trek franchise. There weren't even any videotapes. Just some episodes in syndication on late-night TV. Nobody was marketing this. They just spontaneously decided to re-enact a TV show in which everybody had a boring office job on a spaceship. I didn't get it then, and I don't get it now.
So popular did this pastime become that years later, the studios revived the series. And made another, and another. And films. I believe the term they use for this, and all the spin-off marketing, is 'cash cow'.
Wow.
So maybe there's something to the idea that somewhere, a lot of somebodies have a peculiar idea of bliss: walking around in a flying office building, filling out reports?
PS The interior decoration aboard the Enterprise has always reminded me of a mid-price motel chain. They get their bric-a-brac from Pier 1 Imports, too - I know this. Once, we were watching an episode, and Worf had the exact same cobalt blue candle holders as those on our coffee table. 
PPS If you think 'Star Trek' is bad, realise this: they've begung re-enatcing MAD MEN:
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesg...g/partiesevents/tvdinnersmadmenmenu
Help.
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(17 replies,
Latest reply: 3 Weeks Ago)
What is retailing coming to?
(4 Weeks Ago)
Okay, the news story that has people in the United Arab Emirates twittering has me bemused and amused.
Apparently, some enterprising people have opened a Primark store in Dubai. The problem? These people are not affiliated with Primark. The real owners of Primark are considering legal action.
Fortunately for the ignorant, news sources explained to us that Primark is a UK discount store. (We wouldn't have known.) 'It's like making a knock-off version of Marshall's or TJ Maxx,' I told Elektra. We found this perplexing.
If the world economy is so bad that rich countries like the UAE welcome discount clothing stores - even fake ones - I don't know what the world is coming to.
My question is: what's next? Fake McDonald's restaurants? Faux Walmarts? Knock-off gewgaws from the Dollar Store?
What do you think, shoppers?
Clean-up on Aisle 6.
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(27 replies,
Latest reply: 3 Weeks Ago)
How I Love the (Queen of the) Night
(Apr 13, 2012)
It's a slow 'news' day here. I am determined to think my own thoughts, some of which are musical. What follows is mostly the fault of AlwaysLunchtimeSomewhere and Cactuscafe,. They're very musical people.
Over in ALS' journal, they've been trading the names of groups they like, along with stories about musical misadventures. I will freely admit to having weirder tastes than they do, and an uneducated ear when it comes to Jethro Tull. I'm eclectic, but off-kilter - so what else is new? - and I know a bit about folk, old-fashioned hillbilly and country music, religious music, world music, and 'classical' music. I'm also fond of parodies and musical jokes of all kinds, such as PDQ Bach and the songs of Tom Lehrer.
Which means I like odd stuff. I like a good singer, but after about 15 minutes of Wagner, I'll turn down the sound. Wagner is the Heavy Metal of opera. Mark Twain said somebody told him he could get used to it. Twain, who was at the premiere of 'Lohengrin', replied that you could get used to having your teeth drilled without anaesthetic, too, but he didn't intend to.
Now, over in *her* journal, CC recommended Lily Pons. I blush to say I didn't know anything about this singer, apart from her name, but I live to learn. So I looked her up on Youtube. I see why she was popular: a coloratura with a figure like that is a novelty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZjwRN6v9bE
Guys, I'll bet you watch that all the way, even if you don't like opera...
Now, la Pons was a pretty girl. Her voice? Not my cup of  , but that's why there's vanilla and chocolate. Elektra happened by, and said the same thing, so we decided to do a taste test.
Rather than hunt out 'The Bell Song' from Lakme, we've chosen to use our favourite song from 'The Magic Flute': the Queen of the Night aria also known as 'Der Hoelle Rache', or 'The Vengeance of Hell'.
A word about this song: It's like listening to a VERY cheesed-off nightingale. Remember what Sir Terry Pratchett said about birds? They're really singing, '[Expletive deleted] off, this is MY bush.' The Queen of the Night is like that.
Now listen and decide: which singer do you like best? What floats your musical boat? (Yeah, I know: you'd rather listen to Jedward. I wonder if we could get THEM to sing this aria?) 
Here goes:
Lily Pons, just for CC. (Note: That's not Lily Pons in the picture.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ40SyTxoBc
Diana Damrau. Boy, can that bayrisches Maedel rrrrroll those r's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvuKxL4LOqc
Lyubov Petrova, from Kenneth Branagh's film. This is the stuntwork-and-CGI version. Good thing opera singers are tougher than your average action hero.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_FCYzv383o
Florence Foster Jenkins. This is the closest we can come to the Jedward version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4f77T-LoM
If Ms Jenkins has inspired you to try this at home, you may seek out the karaoke version (and learn the words in German):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5_kVFVkP0c
For lovers of instrumental brass, here's the Swift Street Brass of Santa Cruz, California. We would like to introduce them to Ms Jenkins, preferably in a jail cell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znnzzyC63a4
Florence has serious competition from Calista, the singing chihuahua. (Now tell me that dog doesn't think she's at the Met):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQmLZ41_hXI
Okay, just for a palate cleanser, a more serious version, albeit with the most remarkable hat...managing to sing all those high notes while balancing two feet of whatever-that-is on your head should qualify for extra pay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxGy83aipbY&feature=related
As you reflect on which version you like best, I'll leave you with this sweet sampling from the late Menino.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWh_2Iit3Ek&feature=fvwrel
Oh, how I love that Queen of the Night.
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(56 replies,
Latest reply: 4 Weeks Ago)
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