Bye (May 5, 2012)
You can find me elsewhere.
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(21 replies, Latest reply: May 12, 2012)

Should I go or should I stay? (Mar 19, 2012)
I've been offered the opportunity to go to a conference in St Johns, Newfoundland.

On the plus side - I recall that one of the organisers looks verrrrry attractive in a short skirt. We are talking total babe, in a wholsesome, Canadian stylee.

On the minus side...well do I need to spell it out? We're exactly talking big lights, bright city, are we? Sure, sure it's somewhere unusual that not many people can say they've been, except for refuelling maybe. But I'm guessing it's maybe for a reason that St Johns Newfoundland does not feature on the vacation itinerary for The International Smart Set (amongst whom I count myself part. ). I may be totally, totally wrong, of course. Perhaps it's a lovely place. But, meh, I can use up my brownie points quota on somewhere better, I think.

But then I saw a place nearby that I'd *love* to visit! bit.ly/hlpDEr
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(11 replies, Latest reply: Mar 21, 2012)

Mighty Aphrodite (Jan 23, 2012)
All the way home tonight I could see Venus, high above the horizon, magnitude 3.75 (mental calculation - that's about 2/3 as bright as it gets, right?). I took the kids out to see it. After they'd got over the usual teenage shrugging they were impressed. Jupiter was looking good, too.

It gives me another chance to re-post my favourite po-yem:

http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tfl/corporate...rtmusicdesign/poems/poem.asp?ID=132

Translation on request.

End with a song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tw4VNKXDhc
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(4 replies, Latest reply: Jan 24, 2012)

Quince! (Dec 16, 2011)
This afternoon I bought two quinces. Two quince. Two quincii...This afternoon I bought a quince. Also - I bought another one.

I've peeled and quartered them and they are now simmering in some homemade syrup with a little lemon juice. Soon the house will be full of a heady scent akin to Turkish delight. If I cook them for a few hours they'll turn dark, dark red. (initially they resemble lumpy, hard apples.)

Then I shall cool them and serve them with mascarpone. I shall reduce the syrup and bottle it for future ice cream.
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(14 replies, Latest reply: Dec 19, 2011)

I have bone and kidney disease. (Dec 12, 2011)
I'm bone idle and I kidney be bothered.
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(10 replies, Latest reply: Dec 12, 2011)

Deep Throat. (Nov 10, 2011)
I've been talking a lot lately. Instead of being stuck behind a desk I've been talking, talking, talking (and some day I'm going to have to type it up.)

In consequence, my voice has taken on a sexy, mellifluous timbre. This, I find, I like.
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(5 replies, Latest reply: Nov 11, 2011)

I've decided. (Nov 7, 2011)
I'm going to do a PhD.

I don't know where yet (although there are two obvious candidates). And I don't know how. I naively thought you basically needed to take time out, but a friend pointed out that they actually pay you ( ) plus I could get a research grant...or maybe even (worst case scenario) stay in my job. But I have it kinda mapped out and I know some professors to talk to. (Meeting my favourite one in London next week).

What really clinched it was my friend saying 'You'd walk it.' I'm not meaning to boast vaingloriously about my capabilities. It's more a matter of being old enough and having been round the block enough and various strands coalescing into a thesis topic.
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(32 replies, Latest reply: Nov 21, 2011)

NeenaNannanaNooNo. This is the heavy heavy bonobo sound. (Nov 3, 2011)
It's odd.

Last month They announced potential redundancies. Nominally we're in a 20 day consultation period but I think there's a loophole whereby I as an outlier from our main site down south don't need to be consulted. Plue a large part of our funding seems to have dried up.

And yet enjoying work for once. Some opportunities have come up which should firstly keep me safe. More importantly...they are *interesting* opportunities, outwith our mainstream, morally dubious business, with interesting people in interesting places. Within the last six weeks I've been in Copenhagen, Gothenburg, Amsterdam and Antibes. Two of them were pure pleasure - crafty stopovers wangled for dubious porpoises. At the other two you can be damn sure I managed to mingle pleasure with business. Picasso? A Provencal market? What's not to like?

And even better - I'm doing stuff that I'm *good* at and therefore getting appreciated by likes of high-flying academics. If you stick me in front of interesting people, something will come out of it. If you make me do the job I'm meant to do I'll vegetate and my mind will wander to hootoo.

I crave stimulation!

Of course naturally the nefarious plan, easily recognised by my Swedelish friend, is that all this gives me the opportunity to do something different.

Meanwhile...back to earth with a bang. I haven't had time to do my Swedish Expenses. God knows how I'm going to get €100+ French meals through (God's honest truth! In off-season Antibes in a Hurricane I simply couldn't find anything else.) My next job is dull, dull, dull and next week I'm going to be forced to mix with military types at a conference about a topic I have zero interest in.
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(9 replies, Latest reply: Nov 6, 2011)

Photo opportunity (Nov 7, 2009)
My Mum, my elder brother and...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/edwardthebonobo/4081146017/
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(5 replies, Latest reply: Nov 7, 2009)

Mellow Submarine (Sep 26, 2009)
It's odd the connections one makes.

In my last Journal I mentioned Govanhill Pool. Hold that thought.

A few weeks back, we were having a clear out. I decided to dith a perfecly decent but surplus to requirements CD player (Sherwood) that was cluttering the place up. Only the charity shop was closed. But on the way back to the car, I passed the guy from Oddbins who'd popped out for a smoke. 'Nice CD player!' he said. So I gave it to him in return for a promised donation to a charity of his choice. He said he was needing one for his music studio.

So...I was on my way to Oddbins yesterday, via the charity shops on a "ns and book run. (aren't I always? ?) and he was smoking outside again. He turned out to be a big fanof Calvin & Hobbes, which I'd just bought, he'd read http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=...X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2 ... but he hadn't heard of this local hero: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anarchists-...-Life-Ethel-MacDonald/dp/1841586854 ...but he recommended the Oxfam in Govanhill for cool books. I said it was no surprise because there's lots of cool, politically-engaged people in the area and mentioned that I'd ben at the Govanhill Pool last week. 'So was I!' he said. So we chatted about The Great Pineapple Riot of '01, the squatters the roof, the regeneration scheme, Sikh Lungas, Asian Dub Foundation, Throbbing Gristle and the Anti Fascist Alliance. As one does. And then he got onto one of the pool's art projects that he's doing the music for. Which looks waaaaay cool:

www.85a.org.uk

And it just happens that he's talking to someone who knows shedloads of ex-RN submariners and also has a meeting next week with the head aof a university Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering Dept...a contact he got via a colleague of Polish heritage.

So guess who's now been roped in to the project?
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(27 replies, Latest reply: Sep 28, 2009)

United We Swim! (Sep 21, 2009)
As some of you will have seen from 'That Other Site', this weekend we went to various venues participating in Glasgow's 'Doors Open Day' (members of the public encouraged to view various buildings). On out itinerary were:

Hazlewood School for children with sensory impairment. A wonderful school catering for children who often have severe, multiple disabilities.
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en...4bVJohv2yHMA&cbp=12,176.03,,0,13.79
http://www.hazelwoodvision.org.uk/
A wonderful example of architecture and inclusive design, staffed by some wonderful, talented, positive people.

Glasgow School of Art. We didn't *really* need to go there - I've taught in it - but it's always worth a return visit.
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=gla...yuPrxAqeWNVQ&cbp=12,143.62,,0,-8.92
http://www.gsa.ac.uk/
They have a great display of 19thC Japanese prints at the moment which reminded my son of Manga.

We'd wanted to go here (the former Strathclyde University Baird Hall of Residence) - one of my favourites, which Reseacher Christopher spontabeously mentioned to me as wonderful - but it was withdrwan 'Due to unforseen circumstances'):
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&s...KsrgtJunyUWA&cbp=12,47.59,,0,-10.38
http://www.architecturescotland.co....k/buildings/139/The_Beresford_.html

Then on Sunday, daughter and I went, in reverse order to The Tramway.
http://www.tramway.org/
We'd meant to get there earlier to see the new Scottish Ballet HQ (no Streetview pic 'cause that as still being built when the Googlewagen drove by) but the unexpected A=P=P=A=R=I=T=I=O=N exhibition with aural sculpture by Throbbing Gristle et al comepnsated. We also saw their Hidden Gardens. http://www.thehiddengardens.org.uk/


But the reason we were delayed getting there was the best venue of all: the derelict Govanhill Baths, which is being brought back into service by a local community action group.
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?ie=UT...7v1imnUou0VaBBxA&cbp=12,342.25,,0,5
http://www.govanhillbaths.com/

We were shown round by a marvellous activist whi explained exactly why things like community swimming pools are vital in an area with a life expectancy 9 years below the national average, with a high immigrant population...etc. etc. etc. The resored venue, as well as pools and so forth, is going to have an NHS facility, a healthy eating cafe, a roof garden and a theatre/cinema and a performance/arts space. It aims to be open on the tenth annivesary of its closure, the date of The Great Pineapple Riot. (I saw the pineaple thrown. I also heard the police officer's racist remark that preceded it). The sit, although still derelict, has been used for art work. On one - a Victorian-like decorative frieze portraying the campaign - makes prominent use of a pineapple motif.
http://www.tramway.org/

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Wildlife (Sep 6, 2009)
We had a lovely afternoon at the National Museum of Rural Life (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Museum_of_Rural_Life), where we often take my father-in-law for lunch. It's only about 1.5 mi down the road.

They had an amazing touring Wildlife Photography exhibition. http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...ry-exhibitions/wpy/onlineGallery.do

Absolutely stunning! Have a look at the '10 years and under' category.
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...wpy/category.do?category=19&group=2

My favourites? In approximately reverse order:

3. Chimpanzees tearing apart a bush pig:
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...to.do?photo=2390&category=3&group=1

2. Man with whale:
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...to.do?photo=2397&category=6&group=1

1. Polar bear:
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...o.do?photo=2428&category=50&group=1

But I could list plenty others, too. Have a browse!

Oh...wait...I have to post this stunning-but-disturbing one:
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats...o.do?photo=2370&category=52&group=3

Plus E's school pal turned up and I made an origami frog.
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(16 replies, Latest reply: Sep 7, 2009)

How the hell did that happen? (Aug 17, 2009)
One minute you're going for your first day at school, dressed in shorts and an enormous blazer, the next you're holding two tiny, tiny babies...and before you know it, those babies are off for their first day in High School.

Where does all the time go? Did I blink and miss something?
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(10 replies, Latest reply: Aug 18, 2009)

Where am I? (Aug 6, 2009)
In case anyone was wondering...

I've suddenly had to work at a different location for the next few months. There's no interweb access there (<yikes)...and what with that and an extra hour'e travel each way, my hootoo time will be severely curtailed.

I'll still be around, though.
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(21 replies, Latest reply: Aug 14, 2009)

The Culture Wars (Jul 23, 2009)
This is just a placeholder to draw some thread drift over from the Modesty thread, here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brune...ead=6715264&post=83295246#p83295246

Bear with be. brb.
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(10 replies, Latest reply: Jul 26, 2009)

The parade's in town! (Jun 14, 2009)
To 'The West End Festival', where I was on stall-minding duties for Unicef, for a stall selling books and (the real money spinner!) mhendis (henna hand painting).

Here's some Scottish culcha:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDr1EPipR3E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjbTER4q1nc

I think I want to marry they lassies. Both of them.


I didn't see much of the parade itself - but I heard it go by. I'm constantly amazed that Glasgow manages to sustain so many fine samba schools. Here's some footage of the backs of some peoples' heads:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DefCmUsCPs
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(14 replies, Latest reply: Jun 16, 2009)

Am I on pre-moderation? (Jun 10, 2009)
Just testing to see if I am.

I made a minor tweak to my PS (just the GuideML that changes colours) and I'm getting messages that my Guide Entries are on pre-mod.

Nobody told me. I wonder if it's true? And if so...why? Let's see...

Testing Testing
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(22 replies, Latest reply: Jun 12, 2009)

Why I never go potholing. (May 28, 2009)
Our new central heating boiler broke down last week. We called an engineer - but he immediately declared that it was a problem with the electrical supply and nothing to do with him.

What could it be? I don't have much knowledge about these practical matters, but I like to think that I can get stuck in and solve problems from first principles. My first theory was . We've had lots of lately, and I'd seen some gnaw damage to an extension lead. So I decided to investigate whether they'd gnawed through the mains wiring below floor level.

This meant...emptying all the bits and detritus from under the staits, then easing myself backwards and feed first,past the boiler and gas meter and through a wee hatch in the floorboards with two feet clearance above, just wide enough to fit me - provide I kept both arms above my head to keep my shoulders narrow and breathed in. Then I had to thread my feet over a water pipe so I could extend my legs forward and ease my bottom downwards (all without the aid of hands to help me) until I came to rest on the rubble and soot subfloor. Tearing a massive hole in my crotch on a nail as I went.

I had a scout around and there was nothing obvious. I traced the wire from the boiler - which disappeared back up through the floor after a few feet. So I stuck my head back up the hatch and saw that it led into...the fused switch next to the boiler.

Ah well. At least it would be a simple repair. Once I'd got back to floor level...Not as easy as you'd think. In fact,it's damned difficult moving *anywhere* with your arms over your head, your feet stretched out in front of you, your knees over a pipe and having to bend forwards at the same time. To cut a long story short, it took me half an hour of huffing and puffing.

And that's why I never go potholing. Basically, 'cause I'm a fat .
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(8 replies, Latest reply: May 31, 2009)

Reposting: Britain has gone to the dogs. (May 15, 2009)
Reposting something that's just been modded, presumably under pre-election rules. And it won't get sorted before Monday - but I wanted to get it off my chest.

Anyway...

I've just had my first ever leaflet election from a particular party (I'll not name them, so as not to break the rules). Last time we had posters, but this time someone seems to have actually walked down the street and put it through *my* door.

I'm furious. And depressed.

My daughter showed it to me. She's been finishing off a school project on World War Two leaders. She pointed out that what the leaflet said was pretty identical to a quote she'd used from the autobiography of one of them.

I wish I'd seen the person who put it through my door. My wife is glad I didn't.




There. Is that ing opaque enough to get past the mods? No mention of anything that rhymes with 'Patsy' or the film formed by soap in hard water.
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(72 replies, Latest reply: Jun 8, 2009)

Britain really has gone to the dogs. (May 15, 2009)
Today we got our first ever BNP election leaflet through the door. Last time round we had the first posters in our area. But I can hardly believe that Nazi scum have actually walked down the street and stuck this filth through *my* letterbox.

My daughter showed it to me when I got in. She's been finishing off a school project about Hitler. She noticed that their proud statements were pretty much identical to a quote she'd used from Mein Kampf.

I wish I'd seen the who put it through. My wife's rather glad I didn't.

And you know what? They're going to get a few MEPs, aren't they? What with PR and the inevitable low turnout for the other parties.
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(12 replies, Latest reply: May 20, 2009)

Centaurs' nipples (May 7, 2009)
I'm doing some user interface design at the moment. It makes a nice change to be doing it hands-on, as opposed to telling other people how to do it.

I used to do this full time, oooh, mumblemumble years ago, when I was employed designing user screens for photocopiers. Back in those days, graphics capabilities were limited, so we had to be a bit tricksy with how we did the graphics. (similar in the current job which involves an industrial process controller with a small, VGA screen).

Anyway...I developed various Design Principles which became my catchphrases. One of these was. 'Mickey Mouse's Fingers' In the early days of Disney, the animators discovered that when they drew Mickey with four fingers fingers and a thumb, his hand looked like a bunch of bananas. If they used three fingers - it more resembled a hand. The same is true of The Simpsons. So 'Mickey Mouse's Fingers' became my version of 'Less is more'.

Another one was to do with the way that tiny details can suddenly become over-apparent when you see them on the screen. I called this 'Centaurs' Nipples'. In 'Fantasia', there's a shot where some she-centaurs in the background gallop towards some he-centaurs in the foreground. The artists discovered that if they drew the she-centaurs' nipples in at the wrong moment, they'd suddenly look far too glad to see the he-centaurs.
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Spoiled by choice. (Apr 27, 2009)
How spoiled am I by consumer society? Yesterday in the supermarket, I found myself feeling aggrieved that they no longer stock orecchiete or trofie, so I had to make do with penne.
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(7 replies, Latest reply: Apr 27, 2009)

Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau (Apr 22, 2009)
Yesterday I was in South Wales on business. I finished what I needed to do early afternoon, so since I wasn't flying out of Bristol until the evening I took a thirty mile diversion to Penarth, where my Grandma was from. We were all brought up on tales from her early life - like the time she had to sing the Japanese anthem for some visiting dignitaries...and the soldiers that were billeted with them in WWI...and ice cream from 'the hokey pokey man'...and how her mum would put a red hot poker in a jug of beer to heat it up. But as far as I know, I'm the first family member to have visited since.

At first, it wasn't quite what I imagined. As you can see, it's rather bijou (or, as Grandma would say, 'There's posh, look!').
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&s...7215189874822,,0,15.110759493670892
The seaside town/ They forgot to close down...

But then I looked at a map and realised there was a less posh side, facing the old docks. I remember Grandma talking about seeing her father, who was a sailor, walking up the hill when he came back from sea. This kind of street is more likely:
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&s...95867454417269,,0,14.19936708860761

I sent postcards to my brother, sister and two uncles and then headed off to Cardiff's Millenium Square to see if I could spot the rift in the fabric of spacetime.
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(4 replies, Latest reply: Apr 27, 2009)

Barred! (Apr 14, 2009)
I got barred from a cafe today.

I dropped off A&S at a theatre workshop and went off with E for a day of pottering and looking at dinosaur bones. First off we stopped at nearby cafe which I often frequent when I'm in the area because they do particularly nice coffee. I ordered a coffee for me and a banana smoothie for E...and I noticed that they had 'Bacon with pancakes and maple syrup' on the menu. So I asked,
'Could I just have some pancakes and syrup?'
OK - ambiguous, I admit - but I meant *just* pancakes and maple syrup...*and no bacon*.

But a while later, she brings me pancakesandsyrupandbacon.
'Oh - I'm sorry - I meant *just* pancakes and syrup. No bacon.'
'But the menu item says it's with bacon.'
'I know. And that's why I said *just* pancakes and syrup.'

But she changed it, and I'd already decided that she was still getting a tip for efficiency (anyone can make a mistake).

Only...when I' came to pay, she charged me the full price.
'The menu item clearly lists bacon and pancakes and syrup'.
I hand over a £10 note (more than I want to pay, but still £1 short) and say:
'Well that's my final offer.'

And turn on my heel. (Well...not quite. There was some argy bargy about 'You must need that pound more than I do!')

Only...


I've left my phone on the table.



I went back later and - long story short - after an attempted lecture from the manager I had to hand over a pound in return for a phone.
'Fair enough. You've gained a pound and lost a customer.'
'No I haven't - you're barred anyway.'


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(32 replies, Latest reply: Apr 20, 2009)

Why, oh why, oh why... (Mar 12, 2009)
...did my son decide to do General Tojo for his school 'War Leaders' project?

Oh, wait. I remember. Some smartarse eejit suggested it would be more interesting to pick someone other than Hitler or Churchill, like everyone else.

Trouble is...Tojo seems to have been a particularly dull man who was only prime minister, more or less by happenstance, from 1941-44. So I've suggested that he widens it out a little to cover 'His Life and Times', and hence the origins of Japan's involvement in WWII.

And here's where it gets interesting. We're all taught about the rise Nazism, but on the Japanese side it's traditionally left as 'and then they unexpectedly attacked Pearl Harbor'. Of course...wars don't come out of nowhere. I was pretty much aware of Japan's inter-war expansionism in China and its militarism, and that following WWI when it was on the Allied side it started to come into competion with the US and Britain in the Far East...but what I didn't know about was the British/Dutch/US embargo on oil, coal and steel imports, intended to persuade them out of China, which crippled their economy. Tojo was still in negotiations with the US over this when the fleet saved...but was unable to persuade the military (and Emperor!) against the Pearl Harbor plan.

Another thing to cover will be Japanese war crimes - for which Tojo bore responsibility was executed. Of course, was no angel...but the received wisdom of the Emperor as an aloof, uninvolved figurehead is *far* from the truth.

Hmm...I think I feel a Guide Entry coming on. I've not written one for a while.

Maybe a topic would be The Greater East Asia War - which is what the Japanese called a combination of the 2nd Sino-Japanese War and (what we call) WWII.
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(38 replies, Latest reply: Mar 16, 2009)


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