Whilst writing a particularly uninteresting piece of English coursework I found that my twisted sense of humour had taken over. I lost control - there was nothing I could do...
When Jane arrives at Thornfield she is surprised to find that her People have been set free, after she sang the well known song "let my people go" originally performed by Aerosmith.
When Jane arrives at Thornfield she is surprised to find that her cat is not even a cat, it is in fact a Mongoose, straying from its beaten path. The mongoose has been posing as a cat by drilling occasionally behind the sofa, giving the impression of contented purring. That devious mongoose.
NB: Don't forget the plural of mongoose is mongooses, NOT mongeese, contrary to popular belief.
When Jane arrives at Thornfield she is surprised to find that her employer is a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania. Jane experiences a brief moment of madness when she suddenly thinks that this would be an excellent character in a movie or controversial musical one day. Whatever a movie is
When Jane arrives at Thornfield she is surprised to find that the carpets are actually made of pure gold and the rivers that run around it are made of pure chocolate. Jane then remembers that, preceding her arrival at this magical place, she had taken LSD. Apparently, this explains a lot to Jane.
When Jane arrives at Thornfield she is surprised to find that there is a large man standing in wait for her. She seems to recall that she sees him as an authority figure, but she can't quite put her finger on it. The man has a beard and lightning bolts are coming out of his fingers. Jane thinks it odd that there would be such a thing in her place of work, so kills him and locks him in the cupboard under the stairs.
NB: Zeus is later found he has suffered a severe cerebral adema. That means his head's been bashed in.
Yay! Funny! Had me laughing all the way through when I read it. Congratulations.
PS. Please write more.
Then Eddie Izzard appears?
OK, here's my contribution:
When Jane arrives at Thornfield, she is surprised to find that, due to the effects of a quantum mirror, she is now in an alternate reality. Here, everything is pretty much the same, apart from the fact that Mr Rochester is in fact an archaeologist with glasses, long hair and an amazing ability to speak a language he calls "Goa'uld". Before Jane can question how he knows this, a strange object resembling a large pyramid appears in the sky and beams of fire come from the heavens. One hits Thornfield, leaving it in ruins, with both Jane and Mr Rochester dead. Eyewitnesses report seeing "two bright glowing lights rising from the ruins".
Trust you to integrate Stargate into classical literature!
Have you noticed how much Mr Rochester and Jane are like Jack and Sam? Mr Rochester - hardened and cynical, shining personality; Jane - humble, kind, clever and honest. Hm. I love drawing parrallels
When Jane arrives at Thornfield, she is surprised to find that it is actually a pyramid, and not a stately home as she was expecting. A man with glowing eyes and rich attire invites her inside, and she notes that he is flanked by tall men with strange markings on their heads and metal staffs. Jane is perplexed but agrees to be a "host" - as she has always believed that she would make a good hostess. She soon finds out that this is not exactly what the glowing-eyed man had in mind. Oh dear. Poor Jane...
Me integrating Stargate with classical literature? It wasn't me who compared the main characters of Jane Eyre with Jack and Sam! That goes further than my simple little story!
I'll try and post another one later, when I have my creative hat on. Hmm, hats...
Hat ===== BERET!!!
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