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For example...
"Pets allowed"- Who cares? The carpet already smells of cat pee.
"Children allowed"- one of the rooms has Winnie the Pooh wallpaper.
"Cheerful"- ugly.
"Rear Yard area"- there's enough room for a wheelie bin and the stuff they've ripped from the inside to be dumped.
...not that I'm fed up or anything
Hey Pheloxi. Hows you?
How about : Nice fixer-upper = rundown, ramshackle, and delapidated
Or : Pond / Ocean views = Underwater
The old one I like is for holiday hotels "Within a stone's throw of the beach" - if you are an Olympic shot put champion...
I am not too bad...cooking in warmth of the sun...
how are you?
"cozy" = so small you need to go outdoors to change your mind.
"modern kitchen" = running water.
where is it running from?
Recently washed carpets.....Flood Damage
"Just needs some TLC" = Level the place
"Quaint" = Outdated everything - not just the carpets and wallpaper, but plumbing, electrical wiring, etc.
"country setting" = So far from civilization that you may need to leave a trail of bread crumbs to find your way back.
Privacy Lot = grass so overgrown it covers the windows.
New Floors = replaced after being cleared from the crime scene.
Great starter home = piece of poop ... very small piece of poop 
Rustic setting : 20 min from the nearest store , 2 hours from the nearest hospital
Along the same vein:
Good for local transport- fronting directly onto a noisy, busy road
Not so bad atm, just a bit fed up at work. Having nightmares about the wedding too I dreamed last night that the registrar refused to marry us as I'd not brought a filled in income and expenditure form!
I'm sure it'll go like a dream.
Oh nice, PF. She just got done telling us about her dream wedding!
Ahhh..the joys of making a new home together. The most amusing thing was seeing our crap old flat advertised on the letting agent's website. Where it should have said, 'Linda Barker hell in brick red,' it said, 'benefits from fresh decoration.'  Well, it's funny now that I'm not there.
Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials  . You'll be such a doll, be sure to post pictures.
Hey Serg! hope all is going well haven't heard from ya in awhile.
If you get a chance, you should post your proposal story on my "Ultimate Question" thread, so far there's mine, and....well, theres mine 
Don't worry, if she doesn't post her pictures, I will!
|   | Subject: House Hunting Terminology
Posted Aug 2, 2005 by Thursday
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 20
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In London, people always get swayed by the phrase 'Nearest tube station:______'
I live in Norwich, 113 miles from the London Underground, but my house still has a 'Nearest tube station'... 
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