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Ahaha, haha, ha... serves me right I guess - I seem to have an uncle who's just as bad as keeping up to date with FP.
No ligh for the last few nights/days. I was trying to call it, command it, beckon, plead. Nothing. It would seem that whatever it is, it's not within my control. Yet.
Nah, to be honest, I don't think I'm supposed to be able to control it. For a while, I was toying with the idea that it might be an aspect of myself that I'm not yet familiar with, but I think it's the aspect of somebody else, rather.
Three days, no light.
Wednesday morning, light in the distance for a moment, only to disappear as if to say 'I'm still here but busy with something else right now'.
And then this morning, it was already waiting for me when the alarm woke me up - I spotted it before I had even opened my eyes.
So there it was, slightly pulsating, close up while I lay still trying to figure it out, with no success. It stayed unusually long, I even had to hit the snooze button (10 minutes later) a second time.
And then I 'sensed' a word.
SYS...
Me: 
SYS...
Me: SYSTER? (sister)
SYS...
Me: hmmmm... SYSKON? (sibling)
Yes, that 'felt' right, so I conjured up an image in my mind of my brother in the form of his FB photo and poof! The light disappeared quite abruptly.
Must remember to check if he's seen any light.
Fascinating. How did you sense the word? Did you see it spelled out or what?
More like a very, very quiet voice saying something I was straining to hear - a voice that seemed to grow weaker, that's why I had a hard time hearing the whole word.
No light during the weekend but this morning (17 december) it was waiting for me when my alarm went off, shining brighter than ever.
I've checked with my brother, asking him if he's seen a floating light, but nothing so far.
On the other hand, Santra has just written a poem in his journal that reminds me of my experience.
No light three days in a row until today (21 December) while trying to go to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night. By the way, the middle of the night isn't midnight to me, but rather 3-4 am.
I'm beginning to see it more clearly, more outlined - at first, it was just a rather fuzzy ball of light.
It seems to keep a bit of distance though - maybe it didn't like my attempts at probing at it?
Or maybe it was just busy and in a bit of a hurry?
Whenever I wake up after a few hours of sleep, I try to 'connect' with it, but it would seem I have no influence over it. It'll come when it'll come.
And it will definitely not come at all unless I'm in a completely relaxed and 'empty' state of mind. Which is probably why it's been there first thing when my alarm has gone off, with my mind still blank rather than filled with thoughts and worries.
I'm glad the outline is becoming clearer. I think that's a good sign. Hope so.
Saturday morning: light again. Still looking clearer than before. Gone quickly though - but since it's lately been there when I've woken up, it could have been 'active' while I was still asleep.
The light comes every second or third morning, very early. It's clearer and closer up than ever before. Still only visible from the corner of my eye though.
I'm glad you're still seeing it. This is so interesting.
The light is back, the light is back!
See, I thought it had abandonned me, because I hadn't seen it for several days.
W*rk has been busy, I haven't slept well lately - maybe it has 'felt' that I'm not... not... 'approachable' enough?
Whatever the reason is, I'm glad it's back. Not that I feel any wiser about it, but it's... comforting to have it around.
That's great!
Monday 21st January and Wednesday 23rd January.
Early in the morning, there when I wake up.
However, if I allow my thoughts to wonder, I quickly lose sight of it. Need to focus more, I think. This is sort of a trial-and-error process.
The light is slightly dimmer now (or possibly less close) and no longer purely white but with a pale orange outline.
Still very fascinated by this! Perhaps the outline will become more pronounced later?
Do you still only see it with your eyes closed?
Yes, I open my eyes every now and then, but fail to see it. Most often, I hasten to close them again to be able to catch the light before it vanishes.
The light does not come visiting as frequently as in the beginning, but it was there this morning, rather distant and orange in colour.
However, it was shining rather brightly (despite the distance) that it lit up the room enough for me to see the pieces of furniture - which I didn't recognize.
It wasn't my furniture, nor my mother's, nor the hotel room I recently stayed in when visiting Milla.
And then someone walked past, in front of the light! I quickly opened my eyes and sat up straight, but there was nobody else in the room, and the furniture was my own. And the front door was locked. Argh.
Spooky, but it seems you can trust the light still, doesn't it?
Yes, but I've been regarding the light almost like a persona - and one is enough.
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