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|   | Subject: How not to die in a game park (part one)
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf | | Post: 1
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Elephants are Big. They are in fact Very Big Indeed.*link*
They have lovely long eyelashes, which can be admired very well when said elephant is peering in through the windscreen of your puny little car.
This was Daddy elephant. Mummy elephant was off to the right, trumpeting loudly at Baby elephant, who was of course on the other side of the car.
"Oh sheet!" quoth the driver "sit very still & we will reverse very very slowly"
"Er....have you looked in your mirror?"
"Oh gawd, it's all the cousins. We are in an elephant sandwich & we are the filling.
This wasn't happening in a nice tame English safari park. *link*
But in an African game reserve.*link* which the cutesie-poo heffalumps, lions *link* leopards *link* buffalo *link* crocodile*link* hippo*link* & various other animals regard, quite rightly, as their home territory. They don't get fed buns or biscuits, they tend to go out & track down smaller bambi type animals *link* to gobble up; or in the case of heffalumps & hippos tend to feel they have right of way on the roads *link* due to being somewhat bigger than most tin boxes containing humans.*link*
So we sat there. Enough "Sheet!s" were uttered to stock a linen warehouse & enough "Fork!s" to supply the cutlery one next to it. We rediscovered religion. We discovered just exactly what happens to the digestive system in moments like this.
Daddy heffalump decides he likes the look of the wing mirror, so ambles across to take a closer look. The window is open 'cos it's actually rather hot in African game parks in summer. I don't know if you are aware of this, but heffalumps have quite a lot of nostril hair in their trunks. The sight of waving trunk examining the dashboard of your car gives ample opportunity to verify this fact.
After approximately 3762 years, he decides he is bored & trumpets at baby, who obediently arrives (well, if your papa was that size, i bet you would too) & the cutesie-poo heffalump family go trundling off into the bush, trampling down anything in their path, as is their wont.
The humans, who may by now have mutated into statues, veeeery, veeeeery sloooowly reverse.
Back at the camp, we sit slugging many many  s & recount our adventure. A seasoned game warden  piches in:
"That's nothing! Last month a priest was visiting with some nuns. He was stupid enough to get out of the car to take a photo. Big bull elephant came up from out of nowhere & stomped him flat. The nuns were really quite upset."
Which goes to show i suppose, that praying wasn't what saved us, but the wing mirror. A wing & a prayer i suppose.
|  | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 2
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1) Elephant
http://elephant.elehost.com/About_Elephants/Anatomy/anatomy.html
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 3
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2) safari parks
http://www.safaripark.co.uk/
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 4
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3) Game parks: Liwonde
http://www.wildlifeafrica.co.za/liwonde.html
*note to self, the other one is Kasungu i think? check.
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 5
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4) Lions
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/2691495.stm
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 6
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5) leopards
http://philip.greenspun.com/zoo/leopards
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 7
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6) buffalo
http://animal.discovery.com/fansite...arnival/massive/africanbuffalo.html
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 8
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7) crocodile
(man bites croc in Malawi; oh i like it, i like it! )
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/2565827.stm
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
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| | Post: 9
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8) hippos
http://photos.panda.org/about_wwf/w...e_ground/experience/hippo/index.cfm
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 10
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9) antelope
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/world/africa/1905363.stm
| | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 11
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10) elephant road sign
http://www.shauna.net/trek/images/yieldtotheElephants.jpg
|  | Subject: How not to die in a game park LINKS
Posted Jun 1, 2006 by plokderf
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 12
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11) elephant attacking car
http://naturarkivet.no/~knutroy/afr...lephant%20attacking%20our%20car.htm
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