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|   | Subject: Paddy & Yank Squeak Frog (1)
Posted Mar 8, 2006 by plokderf | | Post: 1
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*This show is sponsored by Kleenex. For the convenience of those patrons with greater bodily needs, brown paper bags are located under your seat.*
SCENE: A crowded, rather dingy Irish themed bar.
Characters:
Mei-King; a male person of around 50 yrs, vaguely oriental in appearance, long hair in a pigtail.
Cherry; female person of approximately similar age,wild red hair & slightly deranged grin exposing bad dentistry.
*********
MK is propping up the bar, appears very bored & possibly about to fall over. He lurches towards the toilets, door to bar opens rather violently & C enters, with savage expression, soaking wet, carrying mandolin.
MK: Mon dieu! C'est le mad mandolin player!
C: Pi** off! Who the f**k are you to say that?
MK: Un vrai mandolin player. Get moi un Guiness.
C:Bog off, get me a wine.
MK: Pas de dosh, i go parle a le hole in le wall.
MK lurches out of pub. C proceeds to bar & orders a wine.(large)
Two minutes pass. C is eyeing up the rest of the customers & gently strumming the mandolin.
Swing doors burts open, MK bursts in waving 50$ note "je suis riche!!!" He proceeds to the bar & thrusts face into C's.
MK: ou est mon Guiness?
C: I didn't know if you were coming back, anyway, isn't it the guy who is supposed to pay for the womans drink, not vice versa?
MK: Hah! Tu est chez moi pour deux minutes est tu parle vice hein?
C:Vice? Get a grip man!
MK:Grippe? J'ai pas de flu; tu est sick!
He orders Guiness & knocks it over, drenching the barman, who is not amused & asks him to leave. C intervenes:
C: Oy, leave him alone, it's my fault, i knocked it over with me mando orlight mate?
MK: Merci beaucoup, tu est très gentille.
C: Nah mate; i do this for all guys i decide i wanna bonk. Ya wanna come back to my place?
MK: HUH?
C:Bonky-wonky, sexy-wexy, f**y-wuky, you up for it mate?
MK: HUH?
Explicit gestures indicating sexual intercourse follow from C. The pub falls silent & watches.
MK: Je ne comprends pas.
C: Oh for gawds sake, you are mad or gay? Or both? Or married?
MK: He he, that had you fooled didn't it? I squeak English, just wanted to see how far you'd go!!!
Both collapse in giggling heap, kiss & leave arm in arm.
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