Posted Jul 15, 2005 by riaschose
It always amazed me how some marriages last as long as they do when some last for over 50 years and others last but a few.
How do you keep that butterflies feeling when they walk in the room?
How do you keep that fresh, a live, first time feeling?
A woman would keep herself pretty, and slim to the best of her abilities, to attract a man, make him work to get her attention, man would work his tail off to get a woman to notice him, then work even harder to get alone with them, then pull out all the stops to get them into bed, and do anything to impress and keep them, but have you notice this only last for about a year. Then things ease off by the time you are married for about a year or so, things have changed, they no longer want to impress you , no long what to keep you interested. They have it in their little brains that once they have got you , they don’t have to try, then they get lazy, they don’t even bother to try any more, then wonder why their partner goes cold on them..
And that’s when most problems start to fester.
At first we blame little things on why we don’t work on the relationship side of the married, its either a bad day at work, which goes on to being busy at work , more work load due to promotion ect, or its over done it on the house stuff decorating or moving, or worst still bad day with the kids. What ever the excuse and there is always one .
At first we wait till the problems work itself out, or ease off, then we wait for the two weeks holidays or long weekends way. First you think “let them have a day or two to rest and then you will have time for each other to enjoy“, but if you are luckily you might a day or a night with each other and then its back to the same odd sob stories to tried because of this and that , but we let it ride.
Then you don’t talk about it any more because that’s when the arguments start so to get a quiet life you just hope for the best.
After a few years, you get in to this rut, either you are arguing about no personal life with each other or you are not talking about it as if there is nothing wrong at all. By which time you are spending a lot of time with friends going to the pub or nights out because as you tell yourself and your partner “I need to wind down from work after all I earn a night out or two” and this is when we start to notice what you are missing.
Woman for instant, don’t realise that they are still vibrant and they only realise this when for the first night out with friends or work colleagues, their partners eyes light up as if they have never seen then before all smart and good-looking, when they come down the stairs the first time
At first the woman thinks this is just the hubby just being nice. Its not till they go out a few more times and they can get all the blokes eyeing them up and they start to enjoy it, and find that the only way to get attention is from other quarters.
Men on the other hand tend to see things different. Once they see that other woman are interested in them they tend to want more. They use the same old lines that the other half don’t understand them, and they don’t have a personal life any more. Some people really do believe all that tripe, no disrespect or anything but single people don’t have a clue what that person is like after a few years together , not realising that it takes two to make a relationship to work and if you want to have a good personal life like you did at the beginning of you relationship you have to work at it a lot more than when you did when you was still dating, because in today’s world, marriage is no long a option, most just live together, and if you don’t give as good as you did in the start of the relationship then you are out on your ear or you might find that the other half of your relationship is having more fun out side of it than in it.
So the question is…….. How do you keep a marriage going after so many years with everything working against you?
I will get back to you when I have the answer…….if ever.
I will await that answer with interest!!
took mine out of the gutter, treat it has a lady, it was more at home in the gutter, so it went back.
I got the best deal,I got my two kids, it still has its gutter
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