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But drinking cloudy home brew the night before and then letting loose a silent one is soooooo much fun.
 ..
A new airfix model shop has opened up in my town, and being a keen modeller in the past, i rang the shop.
I asked the pleasant young man if he had any models of Italian cruise ships in his emporium.
Yes, he said, we have just one left.
That was a bit of luck wasn't it 
I asked him to put it on one side for me 
that may have been in poor taste 
Oh, so suddenly taste is a factor.
How does  like his pizza ?
Deep and crisp and even. 
|   | Subject: Tell Us A Joke
Posted Jan 17, 2012 by Tumsup
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 16265
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What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes 
Sorry, there's no invisible tomato smiley so you have to imagine that that one's not there.
I've just bought a online ticket in an Italian lottery. First prize is a cruise around the med!!!
Last week it was a rollover
A professor always starts his class with a dirty joke. After one particularly vulgar story, all the women decide to leave the next time he starts telling a joke.
The next day the Professor comes into the class and says, "Did you hear about the shortage of prostitutes in Brazil?"
With that all the women got to their feet and headed toward the door.
"Wait!" cried the Professsor, "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing Hide and Seek
Einstein counts; Pascal runs away; and Newton draws a 1m × 1m box around himself.
Einstein immediately yells "Aha! I have found you Newton!"
But Newton calmly says "No, my friend. You have found one Newton per square meter. Thus you have found Pascal!"
DL
What's red and smell of blue paint?
...
...
Red paint.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Cheese on toast.
PP
I was at Parkhead Forge shopping centre this morning when I was stopped by a rep from Aquafresh toothpaste.
"Did you know the average person only brushes 30% of their teeth?" she said.
"Listen doll," I replied, "this is the East End of Glasgow. The average person here only has 30% of their teeth"
What do you get when you cross a yoghurt with a psychic?
Someone who dabbles in the Yakult
Me and my wife had to get rid of the kids.
The cat was allergic.
| | Subject: Tell Us A Joke
Posted Jan 24, 2012 by shagbark
This is a reply to this Posting.
| | Post: 16274
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I wanted to discover what you get if you introduce human DNA into a goat.
Banned from the petting view in my case 
I got a gps sat nav with the voice of Bonnie Tyler. It was rubbish. It kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart!
Just dont use it to go to France, that's all I'm sayin'!
at the GPS one (and the follow-up, too)
Two jokes:
1.'Call me Dave' Cameron
2. "We're all in this together"
etc.etc.
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