The Campaign to Figure Out what to Do with the Arm the Behind Person is Laying On.

It has recently been brought to our attention that millions of years of evolution have failed entirely to figure out what to do with the arm that the behind person is laying on in a bed-spooning-scenario.

Firmly believing that what nature won't do for humankind, humankind should do for itself, we here at the nattily-named CFODABPLO are embarking upon perhaps the most serious research effort of the new millennium. Our terms of reference are broad, drawing on all related - and a number of unrelated - disciplines, and we invite submissions from all interested researchers.

Whether your suggestion comes from the world of genetic engineering, advanced mattress design or 21st-century variants of the 'second-hand shop' school of humo(u)r, all contributions will be appreciated - and remember: the arms of the world are in your hands.