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Welcome to the offices of Afgncaap5's Holistic Detective Agency1! Yes, here I am for all of your holistic investigative needs. Sorry, there isn't much furniture here. Yet. I'll start putting more fancy stuff up as soon as I get paid.
Afgncaap5, Holistic Detective-Yes, here I am, the head of this league! Which is why I get my name on top! (I'm conceited, aren't I?)
Ormondroyd, ACE-The first to sign up, is useful because of his journalistic career, and contacts in the h2g2 underworld
Garius Lupus is favored because of his formidable knowledge of Zork. Because of this, I pay him an extra doughnut hole.
Uncle Sam is one of my earliest clients from the case of the Fenny Fish. Possibly the most patriotic, but we've all got our suspicions. . .
Joanna is supplier of donuts and info for the detective agency2
Irving Washington was going to offer his services on the grounds that he runs a place where gossip frequently occurs, but since I'm there anyway, he decided to offer his services on no grounds whatsoever. He thinks grounds are messy, and hard to clean up.
Well, I've finally updated the page again. I've added Irving Washington to my Ring Of Informants, and added a case file to the Case Files section. Well, can't wait to hear from you whenever you have a terrible misfortune that the regular authorities won't handle!
The Filched Fenny Fish Felon.-This is my first case to solve. It was mentioned in the Post, and I feel pretty good about the solution, what with so many prominant researchers getting involved.
Case of the Crazy Crashing Computers is a fairly interesting one. It introduce me to Joanna's donut stall. However, to really understand some of this stuff, you need to have been around the stall for several months. Oh, well.
The Mystery Of The Flipped Screen is the first case where I was actually publicly asked to solve a case. How could I refuse? Well, when you consider who I might've been going up against, it's a good thing I'm too greedy for money to turn down a case.
1 This is, of course, a complete rip-off of Douglas Adams' books "Dirk Gentley's Holistic detective agency" and "The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul". I imagine that DNA won't mind much, as everything on the Guide is copyrighted by his company, but if he does, I'll just shut this page down completely.
2 And like the donuts, the info is full of holes. Get it? Full of holes? No? Oh, all right. Fine.
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Interesting case hard to solve
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We need your help!
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OH, Holistic Detectives!!!
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STUMPED Attack!!!
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The Celery thanks you for your support!
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A special invitation for the Holistic Detective Agency staff
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WANTED: INFORMANTS
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I just realized
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A case?
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Psst! Hey Gumshoe!
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