I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes. I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

A fashion is merely a form of ugliness so unbearable that we are compelled to alter it every six months.
- Oscar Wilde

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
- Jonathan Swift

This week we're talking clothes. More to the point, we're talking your clothes. We want you to describe your best outfit. How do like to dress when the occasion calls for it? Do you go all glam, trinkets and baubles, frills and spills? Or do you have no idea what we're talking about, no concept of 'dressing up'? A half-clean Doctor Who T-shirt doesn't count.

• Describe in detail your best outfit.

• What occasions make you want to really go for it on the dress front?

• Are you partial to a bit of bling?

• Does dressing up make you feel good?

• What music do you listen to when you have a clean shave/put on a bit of slap before going out to hit the town?

• Who is your style icon? Who do you model yourself on?

• Can computer geeks ever be stylish? Or are they destined to wear pizza crumbs and coke stains down the front of their Buffy The Vampire Slayer T-shirts forever?

• Why do the French always look so well dressed?

• Do you dress eccentrically, your own 'individual' style?

• Men: have you ever worn make-up?

• Women: have you ever worn a suit, shirt and tie?

• Do you have no idea what we're talking about? Do you come from a planet where style is entirely optional?

• Are clothes and the whole concept of 'dressing up' just a form of consumer bullying preying on the doubts and vanities of mankind?

• At the end of the day, is there anything wrong with a bit of harmless vanity? Or is it never harmless...?