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Clicking the pony
Mar 6, 2013

Today, I was trained by a horse.

I've been loaning this particular horse since November. Usually, we have a lesson on Wednesday nights, but today, the instructor cancelled. I went out anyway to do groundwork (the horse is a bit pushy and lacks respect for personal space, so we're working on it) but it was a miserable, wet night so we went back inside after ten minutes.

Instead, I put him in his stall, and we played a game called "clicker training". Unfortunately, in the course of that game he discovered my great weakness. He's a very hungry horse, but usually, I'm too greedy to give him any of the foodstuffs he's sure I have secreted about my person. But today, he noticed that all he has to do is touch his nose to a little orange traffic cone and I'll give him a treat, whether I want to or not!

Of course, I tried to cheat by hiding it among other cones so he had to touch them all, or putting it in hard to reach places, but he wasn't fooled. Next, I'll try putting it in the dark, scary trailer, but I'm sure he's too smart for me and will figure that one out as well...

Who knows, he might even work out that I have this compulsion to feed small black horses when they stand still to be mounted, or back up when I tell them to, or a whole host of other things... Hope not, the carrots will get expensive

(23 replies, Latest reply: Mar 8, 2013)

Great, so not only is my housemate completely self-centred, she's trying to poison us
Feb 10, 2013



One of my housemates is fine, even if he does get slightly obsessed with his particular field of study and talks about that to all and sundry.

The other has annoyed me from day one. She's aloof, melodramatic, and I've never had a conversation with her that didn't revolve around her, usually consisting of her whining. (So it's a good thing she's never eaten a single meal together with us.) She's convinced that it's utterly unfair that she should have to work for a living, and feels everyone should be paying her homage. And she never thinks twice about other people, or consequences of her actions.

For example, rather than buy a tin opener for *gasp* 42 p, she's been using my good knives to hack open tins and has broken chunks out of the blades. She helps herself freely to anything we have in the fridge or cupboards (good thing she's a really picky eater) and has, in short, never done a thing for anyone else. She reminds you a dozen times that her birthday or Christmas is coming up and she expects a present, but it would never cross her mind to give anyone else one.

*deep breath*

She also has her own, very particular brand of "hygiene", which consists of being wasteful and then complaining about having to pay for electricity, replacement cleaning supplies, etc. She'll only eat off her own plate and bowl - carefully washed with a tablespoon of dish soap each, under running water and dried with paper towels. She'd never use the dish towels we plebs use, but takes it upon herself to wash them - two at a time, on a full, hot cycle. On the other hand, she'll happily use a chopping board for raw chicken, then just lean it against the wall to dry, because "the chicken gets cooked anyway". I never use the wooden one, and wash the plastic ones before every use.

But today takes the cake. We ran out of dish soap yesterday evening (we go through a bottle a week). She passed at least three convenience shops that were open on her way to church, but rather than replace anything, I just caught her washing the dishes that didn't get done last night for lack of soap with laundry detergent. A tablespoon of powdered Daz per plate.

I told her not to do that, it's poisonous. She says it's ok, she's always done this, and added that once a week, she'll scrub all the pans with toilet cleaner . And anyway, the boiling water she pours on it kills all the "germs in the cleaner" that poison you.

When I pointed out that the package said it's harmful if ingested, she told me "that's only science" and you can't believe everything science says...

Time to go house-hunting, methinks.

(129 replies, Latest reply: Last Week)

A growing feeling of dread
Jan 2, 2013

I've been enjoying spending time with my family over the holidays. My actual family, that is.

But tomorrow we have to go off to see my evil stepmother. The mere thought has been making me physically sick the last few days.

If anything, she's gotten worse over the next year. So we've decided to go try to rescue some personal items of my father's, then demand at least the legal portion of the inheritance and then never have to have anything to do with that awful woman again.

(13 replies, Latest reply: Jan 7, 2013)

Staying put
Nov 30, 2012

Good news! I won't have to move to England within the next four weeks!

Didn't even get through to the interview stage for that PhD. Phooey.

(10 replies, Latest reply: Dec 4, 2012)

RESEARCH ALL THE THINGS!
Nov 23, 2012

Just submitted my PhD application. Who knows, if it fails, I might even write another!

(12 replies, Latest reply: Nov 26, 2012)