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A437573 Tom Collins
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| | I'm A Handsome, Handsome Man | |
Welcome. My name is Tom Collins. Yes, it's my real name, and yes, I'm aware that it's also the name of an alcoholic beverage. If you have any jokes to make, I suggest you post them under the reference for the alcoholic beverage, as I can guarantee you, and I'm backing this up with twenty American dollars1, that I've already heard any possible joke you can come up with. I know way more than I should about pop culture, especially Hoyt Axton2 and Jeanette Lee3. I'm as handsome as the day is long4.
1 British equivalent: eleven thruppence, twenty-three farleys, and one credenza.
2 Actor, singer, hellraiser.
3 WPBA star, aka "The Black Widow."
4 As far as you know.
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Last posted: Oct 9, 2000
