Merry Christmas from Feisor
Dec 24, 2010
24 December 2010
Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around much lately - if you have, I am honoured that you noticed 
But I couldn't let go completely and had to pop in to wish all my hootoo friends the compliments of the season, and to explain my absence.
On the 18th October my Mum had a stroke - a major one, but luckily she was still able to walk and talk and, while it's been a long way back, I am overjoyed to announce that she will be home on the 7th January.
For the past 4 weeks Mum has been in the most incredible rehab facility (it's really like a private hotel for seniors) and they are coordinating lots of government support. I must say that for all my grouching about governments of all persuasions in this case I am amazed and grateful for the programmes that are in place and am telling anyone who will listen what a positive thing our federal government has done (for a change)
I will be back - though I am not sure when. The backlog is scary 
but I can't stay away.
A special thank you to the ACEs for "holding my part of the fort" and a special 
for the wonderful lil who was there when I needed her - this place would not be the same without her.
Merry Christmas to all - I hope that 2011 will be better for us all.
That time again already? Yikes!!
Dec 24, 2009
In keeping with past years I am again posting this bit of Christmas doggerel to share with my hootoo friends
Yes - once again I could be giving humbug lessons to The Grinch 
The compliments of the season to all of you - thank you for being there
Hooray! At last this year is done
But look out – here comes another one.
The year’s been hard for lots of us
So let’s relax and just not fuss
Take it easy, take it slow,
Ignore the hype – go with the flow.
Yes! You’re right – I’ve had enough
Again, won’t do the Christmas stuff.
But there’s one thing that I will do
And that’s to send my love to you.
With good friends and family too
I know that we can make it through.
So let’s just smile. Be of good cheer
And hope for peace and joy next year.
Lizard Birth - had to share <rofl>
Sep 18, 2009
Someone sent me this today ....
I am going to post it in the Tell A Joke thread but I love it so much that I had to post it to my journal too, so I can
a) share it with my friends and
b) find it quickly to re-read when I need a good laugh
Enjoy
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, this story will have you laughing out loud!
Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was 'something wrong' with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. “He's just lying there looking sick” he told me. “I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?”
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed.
I immediately knew what to do.
”Honey” I called, “come look at the lizard!”
”Oh, my gosh!” my wife exclaimed. “She's having babies.”
“What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!”
I was equally outraged. “Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce,” I said accusingly to my wife.
“Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?” she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
”No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
”Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed.
”Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,” she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm!)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. “Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience” I announced. “We're about to witness the miracle of birth.”
”Oh, gross!” they shrieked
”Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?” my wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient ... After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
“We don't appear to be making much progress,” I noted.
”It's breech,” my wife whispered, horrified.
”Do something, Dad!’ my son urged.
”Okay, okay.”
Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
”Should I call 911?” my eldest daughter wanted to know. “Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.” (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
“Let's get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly.
We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
”Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged.
”I don't think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for goodness sake).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
“What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically.
”Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?”
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
“Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.
“Oh, perfectly,” the vet assured us. “This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um ...um, masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.” He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
”So, Ernie's just, just...excited,” my wife offered.
”Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle, and giggle and then even laugh loudly.
”What's so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. ”It's just that ...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little... “
She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
“That's enough,” I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
“I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad,” he told me.
“Oh, you have NO idea,” my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs.
Christmas 2008 - do it if you must ....
Dec 23, 2008
but just leave me out of it!!
Merry Christmas (or whatever ...) to all my Hootoo friends - I do appreciate you, I really do
As usual, here's my bit of Christmas doggerel for this year ...
I think it expresses how I feel - 
Sorry folks, but I'm on strike
But you can party all you like
Not for me excess and stuff
Once again, I’ve had enough
The year’s been tough but we made it through
And again I send my love to you
I'll think of you on Christmas Day
While I relax in my own way
No fuss, no gifts, no Christmas tree,
No stress, no guilt, no spending spree.
Just good thoughts of peace and love
‘Cause when it comes to push and shove
You see dear friends it’s all too hard
So all you’ll get’s this Christmas card.
Excess-mess 2007
Dec 25, 2007
25/12/07
I wasn't going to do this this year but .... for those who like doggerel, here goes ...
Merry Christmas to all you hootooers
This time of year, it drives us all mad
It’s my theory, dear friends that we’ve all been had.
We rush and fuss, we blunder and cuss,
When really, you know, it’s all up to us!
This year I resolve – it’s time to go slow
So take a deep breath and let it all go.
No rushing, no fighting, no fuss and no stress
No financial hassles, no Christmas excess
Enjoy all the good stuff – the love and goodwill
You’ll feel so much better – you know that you will!
And so, dear friends, it’s our wish for you,
Relax and enjoy it and see it all through
Merry Christmas to all from me and from Mother
Best wishes to all – be kind to each other.
X-cessmas 2006
Dec 23, 2006
Sorry folks - not playing the X-cessmas game this year.
But I am posting my annual bit of doggerel for posterity.
I do, however, wish all my wonderful friends out there all the very best and may 2007 bring you all that you want but only half of what you deserve 
Just a quick note this year to say
We’re all still here and we’re okay
We’ve climbed each hill and scaled each mount
One day at a time– too many to count
But this year we’ll forgo excess
We’re caring more and consuming less,
No tree, no gifts, no stress for us,
Just those we love – no debt, no fuss.
And so we send our love to you
Relax, enjoy – you’ll make it through.
Don’t worry if it’s all too hard,
At least you got this Christmas card!
Happy X-cessmas to you all!
Have a great 2007!
Christmas Day 2005
Dec 25, 2005
I just posted this somewhere else in response to lil's query about how the day went - and all in all, it sums it all up so well that I decided to post it here so that I can look back on it later
I consider it a great achievement - no relatives were harmed in the making of this Christmas 
One could (almost) say that I (almost) behaved myself impeccably (almost)
38degrees C - champagne, vodka, someone's uncle's homemade elderberry wine (made on a base of methylated spirits I think)- prawns, turkey, duck, ham, salads etc etc etc - about 8 kids aged from 8 months to 6 years (didn't eat any of those - despite the temptation), lots of relatives (some I hadn't met before - they handled me quite well (almost)- considering)
And I'm home safe and sound (almost)
Yep - it was that good
Thank goodness the next one's 365 days away 
NOTE: We had 4 generations from 2 families and it all went surpisingly well really .....
Merry Christmas <BURP>
Dec 25, 2005
It's been almost a full year since I posted to this journal - I know ... very slack, but that's the way it is 
Here's the Christmas Poem for this year - not the most inspiring but then, it's been that sort of year 
Merry Christmas to all
And that, my friends was 2005
But we're all still here and we survive
It had its moments, I must admit,
But generally was up to sh
not so good
Mum's health has had its up and downs
But she's on the mend, and so, no frowns,
Her first great grandchild makes us smile,
But please, no more - not for a while.
So this year let's take it slow
Let's just be kind to those we know.
A lot less bother - a lot less fuss,
Is what we wish for you and us,
Peace and joy for those we hold dear,
And all in all, a better year.
Oops - missed it this year!!
Dec 29, 2004
Things have been so hectic that I totally forgot to post my Christmas poem here this year (thanks to Amy P for reminding me)
So, just so that it's here .... here goes ...
Tinsel, cards, gifts and a tree
The food, the booze, the spending spree
The signs are there – oh what a bore!!
As we wave goodbye to 2004
As one year ends a new one starts.
And you are always in our hearts
I hope the year was good for you
With lots of laughs and troubles few
As we head towards ‘05
My wish for you is that you’ll thrive
As for me – I’ll make it through
Life’s always good with friends like you.
Merry (belated) Christmas everyone!!!
Another Christmas Wish
Dec 15, 2003
15 December 2003
Just in case I forget to move this to my journal - I'm putting it here now.
For all my friends .....
Hang the tinsel, trim the tree
It’s time to have a drink or three
Sing the songs, write the verse,
It must get better – it can’t get worse.
The rat-race works to drive us bats
Start to win – they breed faster rats
Make ends meet and they move the ends
Thank goodness that we’ve got good friends
We’re bent and broke, but not done yet
Drunk, stuffed with food and deep in debt.
Another year but we made it through
And so I send my best to you
This verse comes to you with love and stuff
Let’s hope next year’s not quite so tough.
Finally!!!
Oct 14, 2003
14/10/03
Yes .... well .... I suppose some teething problems are to be expected ... but 
- it has just taken me and hour and a half to be recognised with the new sign on system.
Deep breath 
Flying In and Out
Jul 2, 2003
2nd July 2003
Just a flying visit and a quick journal entry in case anyone is checking up on me .....
I'm fine - just busy as a one armed paper hanger in a high breeze - just don't have too much time online these days - w*rk is getting in the way (it's THAT time of year - as in end of financial) - I pop in for a few minutes when I can, but that's all I can manage at the moment 
I hope to be back to normal (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) in a week or two.
If you are interested - I went to see Peter Postlethwaite tonight in his one man show "Scaramouche Jones" - great play, great actor - lousy venue ... too big for a one man show - but he was fantastic anyway.
...... Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible ...
In the meantime have a 
for me ....
Taking down the Chrissie decorations
Jan 5, 2003
In keeping with tradition - and to avoid bad luck - the Christmas decorations are removed before 6th January 
It's That Time of Year Again!!!
Well, once again a year has flown
and all that I can do is groan.
It amazes me how time does fly,
and now, oh dear, the time is nigh.
So what to write to friends so dear,
to wish them well for another year.
I send my love at Christmas time,
and offer you this little rhyme.
I wish you everything that’s good
But – of course, that’s understood.
Have fun, enjoy and just relax,
Go easy on those Christmas snacks.
Take care, stay well, be good,you hear
Stay off the vodka, wine and beer.
But if the “loved ones” make a fuss
Come over here – get drunk with us!!
Feisor – Christmas 2002
New entry - about <bleep>ing time too!!!
Nov 14, 2002
14/11/2002
It's been almost a year since I wrote something in this journal!!
This entry is prompted by the return of all my old entries - and it's good to read them again
I said right from the start that I wouldn't write about my day-to-day life but something MUST have happened in the last x months
Trouble is that when I do visit h2g2 I take so much time in the various threads that I don't really have time to do this ....
I applied for a new (full time) job this week - fingers crossed that I get it - it's with an organisation that I really feel committed to - though I must admit that I'd rather work with admin than accounts - but if I can help this organisation in any way I'll be really tickled - and to be honest I can do accounts really easily. But I do prefer the variety of admin .... I'll see what happens
Christmas 2001
Dec 24, 2001
This will disappear after Jan 5th - Christmas tradition - must take Chrissie decorations down before 6th January - so I will also post it here.
My Christmas Wish For You
2001, well ..what a year!!
We lived with war and hate and fear
The world will never be the same
And yet we play the same old game
We rush, we shop, we eat and drink,
I think it's time to stop and think.
Be grateful for the things we've got,
For, you know we've got a lot,
Friends and family, Freedom too
And I am grateful I've got you.
So now Christmas time is here again,
Remember, "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to men"
I send my love, I wish you Peace,
I hope your joys will just increase.
And as you raise a glass or two,
Remember me - I'll think of you!
Feisor - Christmas 2001
I'm A Muse!!
Aug 25, 2001
24th August 2001
No!! Not "Amused" (as in "We are not amused")
After ages at h2g2 I finally decided that I would nominate myself as Muse of Limericks and Pointless Doggerel - an art in which I have long indulged, but lately, I am pleased to say, I feel that I am getting quite good at it. I think it's thanks to the challenges in the Limerick thread at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F63419?thread=120392 where the standard is quite good - leading me to ever greater heights of doggerel
What long and convoluted sentences
I am quite proud to say that I have been accepted
I have put an "ad" on my space - we'll see what happens ... I think that I'd like to write "Rhymes By Order"
You Know You Are An Addict When ...
Aug 4, 2001
4th August 2001
Well, today I checked the statistics page (dont do it often ) and found myself on the "Researchers with the Most Postings in 24 Hours" list - albeit a long way down - but it just goes to show how addicted I have become to this wonderful place. It will be a long time before I reach the heights of some people here - but my ISP will be pleased
I think that it's just beccause I have been wandering about welcoming new researchers (there seem to be a lot over the last few days - must be because the TV show is being broadcast in Europe) I think that I've been averaging about 10 a day!! It's surprising though how many DON'T reply - I suppose if you are new here, sometimes it can be a little "scary" But it's really interesting meeting new people so .... onward, ever onward.
I'm An ACE!
Jul 3, 2001
3rd July, 2001
Today I received notification that I have been accepted as an ACE.
I must admit that I was starting to think that I had done something wrong, so I was absolutely thrilled 
when I got the email.
I will take it slowly and do what I can - and what I don't know I will ask.
I will get my badge in a "few days" - I can't wait - I have already added the link window thingy - hope no one minds 
I Love This Place!!!
11th June 2001
Jun 11, 2001
Well, after all this time here I have finally done something unusual (for me)- though I must admit that doing something unusual is not unusual for me
Today I volunteered to become an ACE - unusual for me because I am not a "joiner". Previous experience in life has taught me that if you take a step forwards to volunteer you become a much easier target. Yes, I know it sounds cynical but ... there it goes. Anyway I feel much better about it here because, by and large, the majority of people here are friendly, polite, intelligent and (like me) slightly insane - and the way I figure it is, if you like people you go out of your way to help them and participate.
Anyway - I have been wandering around saying "Hi" to new researchers since I started here - might as well make it "proper".
Towel Day - 25th May 2001
May 25, 2001
Is this the First Annual??
As I sit here I wear my towel - suitably edged with a black fringe in honour of DNA - and wonder .... am I getting addicted to this place again?? YOU BETCHA!!! - AND LOVING IT!!!
*sets out a tray of 
and just in case visitors drop in*
*adds a few 
for those who can't survive on just liquid vitamins*
The Bitter and The Sweet
May 13, 2001
13th May 2001
As with most things in life, a great loss brings with it a little solace. Today I learnt of the passing of our own Douglas Adams and in my search for news I stumbled onto the "re-activate" site. I thought that H2G2 had passed into the great ether and have missed it dreadfully. I am glad to be back but will miss DNA, his foresight, philosophy and humour has enriched me - thank goodness that he has left us such a great legacy. My one thought is that a life that has contributed so much is a successful one and, really, what more can one ask than to have a "successful" life. My thoughts are with his family - and his extended family here at H2G2.
VALE Douglas Adams
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I'M BACK!!
Sep 13, 2000
13/09/00
Well ..... finally bit the bullet and got a much needed new computer - Baby Mk3 - and it flies!!!!! Hopefully I will now be a more regular contributor to this place - and hasn't it grown (bigger and better) in my absence. I am going to have fun checking up on all my old contacts - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
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Aaargh
Aug 11, 1999
11/08/99
I have been absent over the last 2-3 weeks due to HORRIBLE computer problems - eventually had to install a new hard drive (8 gigs!!- can remember the days when I got a new 40mb disk and wondered how I would ever fill it) but lost everything from the old one. It's taken me ages to rebuild but I am getting there. Am now using IE - it seems a little faster but we'll see what happens. It will take me a while to get back into this thing again too ..... so if you are reading this, bear with me. IE doesn't seem to read the fonts in the same way as Netscape - the page looks different - may have to experiment with different fonts - that gives me something to work on anyway.
Wonder if I've been missed?????
WOW!!!
Jun 20, 1999
20/06/99
Just got my "failure to reject" email - what a thrill!!
And the article was editted by Jim Lynn - I feel quite honoured.
But I'm not going to rush off and write something else just for the sake of writing - I'm going to wait until the right thing inspires me and then take the time to think about it and plan it all.
There are so many interesting things to do and talk about here - and such friendly people - I LOVE IT!!!
(Just realised that this is not as gramatically correct as it should be - oh well - bring on the pedants!!)
Suspicious
Jun 18, 1999
18/06/99
Just browsing around reading bits and noticed how much space on this site is devoted to alcohol, tea and coffee.
This may explain the numerous "I've been awake for x hours/days" posts.
But it makes you wonder - I hope someone is working on an entry for hangovers and cures for same - might give it a go myself - God knows I've had enough experience!
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