 | | | Subject: A87730356 - Time Travel should be Space Travel
Posted Dec 20, 2011 by minorvogonpoet
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  | | This has that mind-boggling effect that thinking of the cosmos has on me. 
I'm sure you're right that, if you set off to time travel, it would be difficult to know where you're likely to arrive, as well as when. It would get very complicated, because all our clocks are set to earth time, which would be increasingly irrelevant, the further we got from earth. And if the place has moved as well...
There are a few odd phrases and mistakes in your piece that you might like to address. In particular, the end needs tidying up.
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| | | Subject: A87730356 - Time Travel should be Space Travel
Posted Dec 20, 2011 by  Dmitri Gheorgheni
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| | Hi, there. I like your general approach. It refreshingly avoids saying things like 'the universe is mind-bogglingly big'. And it's a good point. I like the idea of hunting for the still point in the universe in order to get a map. (Oddly, I woke up this morning thinking about writing a short story with a similar premise...of course, my morning was probably not your morning...no, let's not go there, too weird...)
The prose needs a lot of work, but that's why we're here.
I have a few suggestions about the second paragraph:
>>That is the truth of paradoxes.<<
'We will never occupy the same space...', the preceding sentence, is not really a paradox. I think you need to say something else. It's a knotty problem, yes, but I don't think we could call it a paradox.
>>As the planet rotates, so to does the axis of the planet<<
You mean 'so, too, does the axis...' But the sentence does not make sense. If the the planet rotates, its axis rotates. That's too obvious to say. Just say, 'The planet rotates, and it orbits the sun.' What you want to say is that Earth spins, revolves around the sun, and travels along with an ever-moving galaxy.
In the numbered list, it should be 'man used to believe' (with a 'd'), for numbers 1-3.
Somewhere in there, you used the word 'hora' for 'hour', I believe.
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