 | | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 15, 2002 by Mr. Legion
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1
 | | *You enter a very neat boardroom with a huge, long table. Along the length of the table are very nifty '60s-style chrome swivel-chairs, with little notepads, laptops and a  in each place. A minibar stands in the corner; a huge map of the world stretches across the far wall. The lighting is very low and atmospheric; the atmosphere being one of gleeful evil*
I call this first meeting of the Committee for Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem to order. Pull up a chair and think evil thoughts! We'll take suggestions from the floor...
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| | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 15, 2002 by Mr. Legion
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5
 | | I think the first order of business must be to lobby the Powers That Be for an <evil> smiley. This is an important issue which affects us all!
After that, we'll replace Tony Blair with a mannequin and see if anyone notices...then we can take over the railways and twist them to evil ends (well, eviller)...oh, the possibilities.
By the way, help yourself at the minibar. I decided I'd better get one installed to keep people interested...
*Sniffs*
I don't know, offer them world domination and they're lukewarm, but just mention the prospect of a  and they're trampling each other...
The bar is extensively stocked in peanuts, crisps and Skittles...especially Skittles...
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| | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 16, 2002 by Mr. Legion
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9
| | *Rises to speak, strikes table with riding crop*
It has come to my attention that, despite years of campaigning, the Thingite cause has not achieved its goals. The reasons for this are clear; ladies and gentlemen, there is a deficit of E-vil in your cause. You could campaign for another ten years, steadfastly persevering, hoping, wiping the sweat from your honest brows and looking forward to the glorious future...or you could pay sweatshop labourers in Myanmar to do the toiling and hoping for you, while you enjoy trading exemptions and kickbacks beyond your wildest dreams...
But I digress. The purpose of this Committee is to discuss the less moral approaches towards achieving the ultimate goals of the Thingites, as well as providing a forum for general plotting and dastardly deeds.
(And we have a minibar!) 
*Raises glass of  *
Gentlemen...
To Evil!
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| | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 17, 2002 by Mr. Legion
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13
| |  Duween, if anyone's going to massacre this lot, by God, it's going to be *me*. Now you give them the antidote young man/woman/miscellaneous. I hope you've brought enough for everyone.
Are any little lightbulbs going off? Any evil plots hatching? Cause I must confess, I'm drawing a complete blank. Must be the poisoned drink.
*Swivels in chair, arches fingers, tries to think evil thoughts but is constantly thinking back to the minibar*
 I knew that was a mistake, installing that. Lowers the tone of the place. Good thing I have supreme powers of concentration .
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
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| | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 17, 2002 by Mr. Legion
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16
| | A good starting point would be to find out who the major calendar manufacturers are...then we can send threats to their publishers...maybe burn a few cars, break a few windows and bingo! It's goodbye Thursday, hello Thing. It would require a small amount of violence, of course, and this is regrettable...I prefer violence in large doses: but no plan is perfect. Perhaps we could kill a few bystanders...
*Mumbles to self, chuckles evilly, strokes cat, tries desperately not to think about *
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| | | Subject: The Boardroom of Evil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Posted Apr 17, 2002 by Mr. Legion
This is a reply to this Posting
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18
| | Yeees...you supply the funny hats, I'll bring the fake goatees
*Gives in to temptation and the deepest cravings of mind, gets an from the minibar*
Hmmm...one hole I see in our plans...is the day change going to be international? I mean, Monday is Montag in German, so what does Sodit translate as? There's one for some linguist  to ponder over.
*Arches fingers, strokes chin, pets cat, realises has grown extra arms*
Oh. That was unexpected.
*Looks at poisoned suspiciously*
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