 | | | Subject: Hej Yoss!
Posted Apr 21, 2002 by Ottox
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21
  | | Erm... I had written something more and then deleted it again, but it looks like I deleted too much. Anyway...
There's usually at least two sides of a story, Yoss. I'd wish that you were not always so jealous at me, that you forget that. Yes, getting such a gift is fantastic. And the feelings behind may be worth some jealousy if anything is. I *am* very lucky, I know that. I don't know why so many people like me so much as they do, and I don't feel I deserve it. But I also know that most of those people also like you quite much. And except for those people liking me, there really isn't anything to be jealous about.
I did overreact. But not much. And Amy overreacted on that overreaction, and not least on some things that she *thought* I said (and which she - even though we're okay again - still thinks I've said, I'm afraid, as there have been some delays on email). You only heard that version, and then you (over)reacted. I hope you'll remember to hear the other side as well, when you go to UN. 
I hope you'll forgive me for having feelings and for showing them. Replying directly to your post, I can guarantee you that I mean what I say. Sorry if that wrong of me, but that's the way I am. And I did *not* say anything about dishonesty, not on h2g2, not in emails!
Erm... I had actually logged out about an hour ago to go to bed, but then I thought I should get back here. But now I must go. 
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| | | Subject: Hej Yoss!
Posted Jun 23, 2002 by 153745
This is a reply to this Posting
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23
| | Uh huh.
I don't think you're a dumb man, Ottox. I think you can see and have seen perfectly well that my existence on this site has waned to nothing more than my wandering around a few threads here and there like a blind man, or further, like the disgruntled elderly after realizing that something that they had put a lot of time into back in the day no longer cared about them in the least.
I guess that was my fatal error. I put too much in thinking the return would be at the very least, reciprocated in value. I mean, yes I've made friends here and I care about them deeply, but zark, they all think I'm a babbling fool and there's a very good reason that the number of dots in any of the conversations I belong to are limited. A very good reason indeed. They mean a hell of a lot to me and I am of almost less than significant value to them.
So I figure the only way I'll ever find true piece of mind here is when, or if, I begin contributing worthwhile material. That's my only way out of this mess save leaving all together. But then, you would win, wouldn't you?
I suppose you already have, though.
Actually, I figure you've been winning from the start.
You see, it's the question of what one's worth is in the eyes of the people they care for, assuming that the two people whose worth is being summed up are caring individuals like ourselves that truly give a damn about the well-being of their friends.
So please, I humbly ask that you stop bothering me with this fan business. I don't need to be mocked right to my face as you well-know that my being here means nothing to anyone save for myself.
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