 | | | Subject: Morning / afternoon / evening
Posted May 6, 2005 by Dai the Death, "My other sink's a Porsche"
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
3
  | | Ahhh twas all my fault, here let me writ you an IT was all my fault notette for your Latin Master / Teacher / Tutor / Person /Thing (delete non appropriate or politically incorrect tiles)
" Dear Zio's Latin Master / Teacher / Tutor / Person /Thing
Please excuse Zio's performance in the Latin test, it was all my fault!
Yours apologetically
Dai the Death"
What's this thing with Pizza then, I thought it was a commonly enjoyed easily available repast for those times when you just cannot be bothered to cook, or have I got it wrong?
If you mean Evanescence the band fronted by lead sunger Amy Lee, whos Paris Concert DVD is currently residing in my oh so modern Digital Video Disc player doo hicky, "Looks coyly across the room at Zio"... I might do why do you ask...
"sits back in large 60's glassfibre bubble chair suspended from ceiling and staples fingers together. Screams loudly cursing whoever left the electric stapler on his large 60's glassfibre bubble chair, regains cool and begins stroking a large white persian cat conveniently placed there for stroking purposes"
Can I ask you another question then (thats not it btw) Do you know who HIM is?
"Sits back and awaits the response which owing to differences in their time zones could take a while....."
Dai Licious
|
| | | Subject: Morning / afternoon / evening
Posted May 7, 2005 by [aae] Cleverly disguised
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
4
| |
Ah... morning... don't you just love it? The sun... the sky... the smell of fresh tar...
And I don't even like the sun or the sky.
I think the correct way to adress mi latin teacher is by the title 'magister' (meaning male teacher). Although, since our last teacher was female, mistakes are leading him on a downwards spiral towards gender confused.
His own damn fault for teaching at an all girl's school.
HIM... Whether or not I know anything about them would depend on whether or not you are referring to the creators of love metal and the heartagram...
As to why I was asking about Evanescence... It was playing in the background, attempting to overpower the sound of the washing machine, and thus at the front of mi mind.
Ooh! different time zones!
Now, see, I'm not even sure why I was excited about that...
What time zone do you hang out in?
Anyway... mi family's out being community minded, and so, naturally I am sitting here plotting the destruction of the world. Any thoughts?
Tickest are still available for places in mi floating bubble asylum, if you feel the need to be saved. You can even bring your chair. But I advise against the stapler, as it has been found that sharp objects and life-saving bubbles are generally incompatible.
*Sits back in perfectly ordinary wooden chair with worn through cushion, awating reply and wishing that she had a cat. Or one of those genetically modified green mice she learnt about.*
Boom.
Zio.
|
| | | Subject: Morning / afternoon / evening
Posted May 7, 2005 by Dai the Death, "My other sink's a Porsche"
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
5
| | " Wakes up with an extremely sore neck having fallen asleep in large 60's glassfibre bubble chair suspended from ceiling, sniffs the air suspiciously and wishes when having his secret base constructed he had specified a cap flap in the massive high tensile steel outer doors"
Ahhh there you are, good grief I can see your eyes!
Indeed the aforementioned HIM did in fact create love metal and the heratagram, and I only asked as they were n shuffle oon the IPod when I was in here last time.
Time zones, not all they are cracked up to be really, but lets see if we can work it out it's just too easy on a Saturday morning at just after 8 to say which one Im currently using. I actually find it more interesting to live my life in a different time zone, although it plays havoc with my social activities.
World destruction is an admirable ambition, I have many thoughts (most of them my own although occasionally I get the odd voice in my head but more of that later) and from this secret lair am well placed for just such a project. When shall we begin?
Reserve me a seat in the bubble if you would, always good to have a life saving bubble available paticularly when planning world domination from a secret lair, for some reason some smart ass secret agent who you never kill when he is totally at your mercy instead preferring to be creative with his demise which means he escapes and makes a right mess of all the hard work you have done!
"Groans, stretches and shambles off to find where the cat has been"
|
| | | Subject: Morning / afternoon / evening
Posted May 7, 2005 by [aae] Cleverly disguised
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
6
| | Mmm... existing in different time zones works for me... gives me an excuse for mi insomnia.
Well... a better one than 'I just can't be bothered to sleep'.
So I took up drinking coffee as an excuse. Unfortunately I am now addicted. And I'm not allowed to drink coffee.
Or stay up all night.
Or watch Shaun of the Dead.
Or use the phone.
Or sacrifice mi sister to the nearest available zombie.
Or... well, you get the picture...
But yes... mi parents have decided that it would be best if I stayed three years old for the longest possible amount of time. Unfortunately for me... I'm not three.
Anyway... It's twenty to six at night here... and I'm back to living in mi own little world.
A bit out of touch with reality, I am...
But they're not here now, so I'm happily drinking coffee, watching Shaun of the Dead and talking to some slightly insane, but very interesting person with a remarkably versatile name somwehere on the other side of the world.
And you?
Sitting and eating peanuts in the dark,
Zio.
|
|  |
| | | Subject: Saturday afternoon and the suns out. Why am I not?
Posted May 7, 2005 by Dai the Death, "My other sink's a Porsche"
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
8
| | Pull up a floor and let us contimplate the mysteries of the multi-verse, plot the destruction of the world and decide which one of us is more in touch with reality and what we can do to remove that flaw from their character.
So it seems to me you are right at the other side of the world as it appears your about 12 hours aheads or behind me. Which ever one of us is in the future could pass useful information to the other for purposes of financial gain. wqe can split the benefits 50 / 50 of course with an adjustment to compensate for the 12 hour time difference and bank interest.
As for me it is now 3.30 on a Saturday afternnon, I have just been out walking a dog I borrowed for the afternoon as I could not possibly be responsible full time for one of my own what with the plans for world destruction and the essential evil genius furry cat about te place.
This evening I intend to totally leave reality behind ang go to see the Hitchikers guide at the local movie theatre, they give consetions for evil geinuses but only if you don't bring the cat.
Parental 3 year old child syndrome is a common condition, it does not change relative to the pasing of time, it just means eventually they let you have your own key, your own car and credit cards even your own house but they still view you as a 3 year old.
So what part of the multi verse is your own little world located in, mine is currently in the Land of Ire but its totally dependent on my mood and state of mind at anyone time.
Also only slightly insane? I have a masters in insanity and the diagnosis to prove it.
I am interested in one thing though evil twisted assistant and co-conspiritor in world destruction, how did you find hootoo?
Dai Laffin
|
| | | Subject: Sunday morning and I forgot it was mother's day
Posted May 8, 2005 by [aae] Cleverly disguised
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
9
| |
I appear to be the one who is twelve hours ahead of you.
Welcome to the future, baby.
Just so you know, on Sunday, 6000 dishwashers shall spontaneously combust, resulting in the reincarnation of mi friend's cat, which I shall then set upon the plague of green mice, before crowning it the ruler of Oatley park, where it shall live happily for approximately sixteen seconds, before being trodden on by a rampant ent.
These things happen.
It's mother's day today. Unfortunately, I was not aware of this occurence, and thus I gave mi mother a pair of her own shoes wrapped in a pillowcase.
I'm serious.
Also, a newspaper offered me lunch this morning.
Again, I am being serious.
As to the Hitchhiker's movie.
Damn you.
I'm not allowed to see it. I might derive pleasure from the experience.
Tell me what it's like, will you?
Also, it being 10:46 on a Sunday morning here in Sydney... I doubt that you are going to answer any time soon. Can we figure out some time when we will both be awake? It's just that, If you're going to blow up a planet, it's best to synchronise movements, to avoid accidental half-destruction.
This would be seen as a ridiculous failure.
And people would keep driving off the edge.
Anyway... the frog on mi shoulder is telling me that it's best not to leave the lid off mi jar of anthrax.
I'm not sure whether I'm being serious there.
One last thing... I ate to express mi ignorance in this matter, but what is hootoo?
Expiring,
Zio.
|
| |
| | | Subject: Sunday morning and I forgot it was mother's day
Posted May 8, 2005 by Dai the Death, "My other sink's a Porsche"
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
11
| | The force is strong in this one methinks.
Excellent so your from the future then, Im glad it wasnt me in a way, the future scares me Im more comfortable back here in the past!
I have however just got the local bookmaker out of bed and have managed to secure some decent odds on the possibility of 6000 dishwashers spontaneously combust, resulting in the reincarnation of your friend's cat, which you shall then set upon the plague of green mice, before crowning it the ruler of Oatley park, where it shall live happily for approximately sixteen seconds, before being trodden on by a rampant ent. It took some negotiating I can tell you, he does not trust me in the least (personally I think its the secret lair being ex directory and the fact he has a cat allergy) but all being well we should have sufficient funds for the destruction of the world by tea time.
One small snag though, apparently he said he will place the winnings in a stasus field permanently 12 hours in the future so it looks like you will have to collect them. I shall send you the pin number by mail.
Mothers Day? Since when? Tell me its Austrailian Mothers Day will ya, as I have not got an Austrailian mother it will get me off the hook, also I gave her the shoes in the pillow case last year and she has the memory of an elephant, personally I dont know where she found it as elephant memories are on the world wildlife fund black list but she has always had this knack of finding the strange and unusual, she found me did'nt she?
What newspaper offered you lunch, the public needs to know and being a memebr of aforementioned public still up I need to know first.
Syncronisation of time zones and social calendars is a sound and worthwhile goal, to help with this matter I have got to go to get some shuteye but I have the alarm set for 7 am which is less than 5 hours away as I am doing an open water dive in the Irish Sea at 9, and yes it will be very cold.
I shall return in the mean time enjoy the rest of the day and let me know what I have to look forward to please, if nothing excting is happening I maty give it a miss.
"Pushes post messge button and goes looking for the cat who will be spending the night outside the lair after the accoident with the rubber plant compost last night!"
Dai
|
| | | Subject: Weet Bix
Posted May 9, 2005 by [aae] Cleverly disguised
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
12
| | I would just like to express mi opinion that Weet Bix is a valuable commodity, as so many Australians rely upon it.
The fabrication of a Weet Bix shortage would probably create mass panic.
This would probably further our goal of world demolition, as the relevant authorities with the power to stop us would be busy having nervous breakdowns due to the lack of their favourite breakfast cereal.
Also, a box of weetbix, left out in the rain, creates a remarkably functional brick. Perhaps we can revolutionise house building before introducing them to the wonders of destructive fireballs.
Also, a method of destruction should be decided upon. I kinda like the idea of something hot and firey.
Perhaps a plague of halapino chillies would suffice?
The newspaper who so kindly offered me a meal was the Sunday Telegraph, and I just learnt that I shouldn't rely upon its promises, as it is unfallibly unreliable.
Damn.
Diving in the Irish sea? Are all your limbs still attatched? I hear frostbite is a problem in such areas. Luckily, seas in mi area tend to remain at a quite comfortable temperature.
It's no wonder that you have already achieved your certificate of insanity.
I'm working on mine, but so far I've only done little things... like pretending to be a cat around authority figures, for example, policemen...
Don't worry, I'm fully house trained.
There's some guy on the radio complaining about financial advisors.
Apparently you should never trust them.
Hell, I figured that out a long time ago. I just don't trust anybody.
Describe yourself in three words or less.
Comfortable,
Zio.
|
| | | Subject: Coffee and rambling
Posted May 9, 2005 by Dai the Death, "My other sink's a Porsche"
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
13
| | Well Ive known th power of Weetabix for years, gyuaranteed to block any sewage system known to man if left to its own devices, but not suitable at all for world destruction, thinking more of hot and fiery myself and the plague of halipino peppers has merits, will give it further consideration as the day goes on.....
OK, yes the Irish Sea is cold and would you believe wet? Nothing that can't be sortd by careful use of a dry suit and an inch thick quilted undersuit, I felt like something from a cheap budget B grade 50's sci fi flick and the instructors final advice that going to the toilet beofre putting it on is a lesson I will always remeber, thing is I was fine on that score until he mentioned it and from that point onwards its all I could think of, well that and the bit about keep breathing.
Pretending to be a cat arround authority figures is good practice for your insanity certificate, try mumbling to yourself at all times and the occasional loud out burst of something like "No No Sir Jasper not the black tipped wing back chain mail with detachable mace" got me where I am today.
3 words, hmmm what language do you want tehm in and Im very comfortable thanks
Dai
|
|
