 | | | Subject: Dear Bean Counters...
Posted Apr 25, 2012 by  KB
| | Posting
1
 | | Dear Bean Counters,
It's me again. You know who. We have this same discussion around the same time almost every month, and it looks like it's that time again.
Now, first off, you flatter me. I'm glad you notice what a conscientious worker I am, and how much my job means to me, but I must protest. No, I really *must* protest. I like the job well enough, but not enough to do it for three pounds per month, £32 per month, or even the dizzying sum of *97 pence per month* which you once had the generosity to offer me.
Now, I'm not a stickler for contracts, legalese, and going by the book. But I'd kind of like it if you pay me the salary I actually *earned* each month. A novel concept, I'm aware, but if you just pay me the sum we've agreed we can both stop having this little to-and-fro every single month.
Is it a computer problem? If your computers have forgotten how to do arithmetic, I'll gladly come around and help you throw them out the window to make room for some new ones.
Now, I thought it would be churlish to go on hunger strike at your front door until you pay me what you owe me, so I won't. However, as of next month, I have decided on a plan of action to secure recompense should you not pay me what you owe me.
On pay day next month, I will check to see whether my pay has arrived in the bank properly. If it has, then we'll all be friends. 
If it has not, Plan B kicks off.
1. I'll arise at 7am, and have beans on toast for breakfast.
2. I'll have a nice prawn vindaloo for lunch.
3. I'll have a bowl of all-bran after work, and head straight to the pub.
4. I'll quaff fourteen or eighteen pints of Guinness.
5. I'll get a bowl of chilli con carne, then go to bed.
The day *after* pay day, I will come to your offices - this is no empty threat - and I'll sit there all day farting until you pay me the rest of the money you *should* have done.
Yours in human brotherhood and deep love and affection,
The Wee Pissed-off Guy Whose Pay Check you  up every month.
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| | | Subject: Dear Bean Counters...
Posted May 1, 2012 by KB
This is a reply to this Posting
| | Posting
14
 | | Like pedalling with the brakes on. 
But I'm now fairly sure they'll pay for the training I'm after - they just have to go "oooh" and "ahhhh" a bit, and make lots of earnest and solemn noises about it. It's the company culture. 
Oh, and I got my pay, too. 
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