 | | | Subject: Bullying
Posted May 8, 2008 by emo_kid- that's meee alright!
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  | | I'm not Americain. Every year nine student goes through this. It's just to see if a teacher is teaching proprly, if they are, they get a pay rise.
My problems started over stress. Then depression. Then both. I used to get so angry that I lash out at my little sisters. Did I mention i'm also having anger management. I used to slash my wrists with anything sharp. It was a spur of the moment the first time, the pain took my midnd off things for a while, but they got worse after the pain went. But then it grew into an obsession. I had to otherwise i'd break down into tears. I'm fighting it, but the bullies are getting worse.
I think I need more than a mentor or it could turn into suicide.
emo_kid_08 (getting bad flash backs during this )
P.S The *ahem* was because i'm ashamed of it, even now I feel so down all the time.
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| | | Subject: Bullying
Posted May 10, 2008 by HonestIago
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| | Hiya emo_kid - I'm one of those people TRiG invited in.
I was an emo at school (though we called ourselves smellies back then) and I got grief because of it as well so I know how much it sucks.
To be honest, TRiG has given most of ther best advice already. Your school *has* to have somebody to deal with bullying and that person has to take it very seriously. Any school that doesn't can be heavily fined.
If you're British I'd do it this way: speak to your form tutor and don't take no for an answer. Be as pushy as you can without getting into trouble, because it's too important to wait.
If you don't have any luck there, get your parents/carers to make an appointment with your Head of Year. Tell them exactly what's going on so they can tell him/her.
If this doesn't work, then your parents will have to go to the deputy head, failing that, the headteacher themselves. In the very unlikely event this doesn't work, you and your parents/carers will have to go to your local council, who will have an anti-bullying co-ordinator and their details will be in the council phone book or on their website.
The bottom line is don't take no for an answer. Schools have one purpose and that is to educate young people so they can enjoy their lives to the full. If they're failing even one pupil, it's totally unacceptable and something has to be done. You aren't doing anything wrong in getting the support you're owed.
While you're doing this, get some support - does your school have learning mentors or AimHigher/Connexions people? If it does, speak to them because they're usually a bit less busy than teachers, and they'll have all sorts of people you can contact if they can't help you.
If there's a Teaching Assistant you particularly like, try talking to them. Most TAs are amazing people and they will go out of their way to help - they don't get paid very much so most of them are doing the job because they want to help young people like yourself.
The two most important things are:
1) Talk about it to everyone and anyone until you get it sorted. Whatever you do, don't stay silent because that makes it look like you've done something wrong and you haven't. You have no reason to be ashamed and if you talk hopefully the bully, who really should be ashamed of his/her/themselves, will have a big spotlight ashined on them so everyone can see what a horrid person they are.
2) Don't let school grind you down. I'm saying this as someone who did teacher training and worked in schools for quite a long time. Schools aren't really set up to let people flourish as individuals - you do that at college and university - and it can be quite depressing as an adult to see 'different' kids get worn down.
The very qualities your bully is picking on are what will give you an advantage later in life - there was a study done a while back that showed kids who are 'different' in school tend to do much better later in life. The important thing is that you're happy with who you are (so long as who you are isn't a serial killer or anything  )
Keep your head up and get talking. Don't let them drag you down.
Iago.
P.S. Don't self-harm - wearing long-sleeved shirts in this weather is really annoying, trust me. Put some lostprophets or Offspring on full blast and mosh your head off - it makes you feel just as good, plus it counts as exercise.
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| | | Subject: Bullying
Posted May 10, 2008 by coelacanth
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| | You've been given excellent advice here and I hope some of it will help.
There is someone you might get some help from on h2g2, called Auntie Beeb, U953997 so if they join any of your conversations don't be surprised. There's a link on that page to the Radio 1 Sunday Surgery/One Life pages of help for young people. Here's the link to the index of help pages http://www.bbc.co.uk/surgery/a_z_index/ with pages about bullying, self harm and exams, so why not take a look there.
(Oh and "It's just to see if a teacher is teaching proprly, if they are, they get a pay rise". You do know that's not actually true, don't you?  )
 (a teacher)
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