History: 2011 Quotes Leaderboard; 2012 1st Quarter 2nd Quarter 3rd Quarter 4th Quarter; Leaderboard; ; 2013 1st Quarter

2013 Leaderboards: Running Total January February March April May

20/05/2013: I would call AAA and then play Angry Birds on my phone while I wait 20-30 minutes for their arrival. - Witty Moniker

19/05/2013: I'm thinking, eventually, a 100 hour baguette recipie might be possible... and with time, taste improves.... so they say... whoever they are... - 2legs

18/05/2013: ...so far it reads kind of like 'Freckles' meets 'Ayn Rand' with a little 'Lord Fauntleroy' thrown in for good measure. - Florida Sailor

17/05/2013: [Here follows a statement about the fish called Sargus, which is unfit to print.] - KB

15/05/2013: Then I log off and go back to my drab, wretched life, and the opportunity is lost. - paulh

14/05/2013: Could I suggest that regardless of where the crown might have come from, if there's a monarch beneath it, then it is not a fake? - Geggs

13/05/2013: I knew Norm Lately. He lived up in the Brokeback Mountains. - Stone Aart

12/05/2013: I was told early into my hootoo career that the best way to ensure attention and comments was to have a title including "Hitler's sexy underpants". It is a maxim that I have tried to live up to ever since. - Nosebagbadger

11/05/2013: Come to think of it, Londoners have elected Mad Lord Snapcase as mayor... - parrferris

10/05/2013: That's what comes of watching films set in Ireland, you get our rain. - Malabarista

09/05/2013: I have a photo I took of a guy with an upright piano in the middle of Grafton Street, but then, you get all sorts on Grafton Street. - TRiG

08/05/2013: The only Australian beer I tried, was a microbrewry thing ... cost a fortune, and was horrible; had overtones of napalm, with a hint of biscuity nuttyness, that was ... drowned out by ... the taste of German leather trousers - 2legs

07/05/2013: If dressing as pirates on the slimmest of pretexts was a source of discredit, why; we wouldn't have any credit left. - SiliconDioxide

06/05/2013: Every night I say a prayer of thanks to the Deity. Because he hath invented OCD, and blessed the h2g2 Children with it. - Dmitri Gheorgheni

05/05/2013: ... a Cambridge Computers Z88, in full working order but with absolutely no discernible use. I just liked the look of it. - Hoovooloo

04/05/2013: Oh thank bob. I thought the topic would never drift. - Asteroid Lil

03/05/2013: There's a certain point while reading that post where I start to sound like Swedish Chef... - Mu Beta

02/05/2013: Now it's some sort of techno-rave with moving pictures. - Icy North

01/05/2013: We have a rule that I am allowed to ogle the waitress for as long as it takes my wife to order a meal for five in flawless local dialect, no matter how long that takes. - SiliconDioxide

30/04/2013: The farmhouse kitchen ceiling told a story: it was battle-scarred from my grandmother's cooking. - Dmitri Gheorgheni

29/04/2013: Sort it out folks, I can't single-handedly keep Geggs in quotes! - Mr603

28/04/2013: It's about as much fun as you can possibly have without appearing cool. - Icy North

27/04/2013: [Shrewsbury] might sneak off and join Wales some time, I wouldn't put it past it. - Vip

26/04/2013: And when someone can couch their pet theory in the language of mathematics, sometimes it can just about pass for physics proper - swl

25/04/2013: Amazingly, the planet is not child-proof. - Dmitri Gheorgheni

24/04/2013: and if Nora Krust became an editor, she'd be N. Krust (Ed). She could visit places with her boyfriend Jules. - Gnomon

23/04/2013: My idea of roughing it is staying at a resort that doesn't have a bar in the pool - Witty Moniker

22/04/2013: I'm chuffed that I have been able to make a contribution to the Post, one of my life time goals done - Peanut

21/04/2013: A cockroach interrupted my first sexual experience. - Baron Grim

20/04/2013: That's like a scientist saying, "I did research and the results didn't match my theory, so I'm discarding the facts until I find some to fit my theory". Or a policeman ignoring any evidence that doesn't prove his/her favoured suspect is guilty - and that would never happen, would it? - Cheerful Dragon

19/04/2013: Look past the stupidity and the idle whimsy and you'll notice that every remark and ripost is loaded with knowledge, imagination, verbal dexterity and intelligence. - benjaminpmoore

18/04/2013: Some of us are so eccentric that the nearest centrifuge is light years away. - paulh

17/04/2013: The sound of somebody blowing a raspberry. Is that not 'ddllddllddllllddddllll' in Welsh? - hygienicdispenser

16/04/2013: I hope the fish's leg gets better soon. - Icy North

15/04/2013: Maybe my quotable and memorable scribblings just arn't edgy enough...yeh... what this post needs is more cowbell... - 2legs

14/04/2013: I thought bishops were more into sci-fi. - Xanatic

13/04/2013: As a member of the h2g2 community, I am taking personal credit for this. Thank me in your own time. - Just Bob

12/04/2013: There's nothing scarier than an enthusiastic scientist. - ~ jwf ~

11/04/2013: I thought Smacking a Goth was a euphemism. - Icy North

10/04/2013: Here's to a good Mini-meet. - MMF

09/04/2013: Mind, if we're quick, they've got a sale on at the Camping shop; yeh, its the discount of their winter-tents... - 2legs

08/04/2013: ...we tall folk are used to the slings and arrows hurled upwards by the Lilliputian masses. - Mr603

07/04/2013: *stands in the doorway, debating with self. Go in, or not? Maybe later* - Milla

06/04/2013: I like knowing this place is here, so that if I ever actually get around to writing anything, I'll have a place to put it. - TRiG

05/04/2013: Isn't it always the case that the key to a relationship is not to look for perfection, but to find someone whose faults you can tolerate? - KimikoMuffin

04/04/2013: I hope you've ordered the violin score for "Vindaloo". - Icy North

03/04/2013: Humans connecting and communicating with each other is a good thing. Luddites trying to chop down the telephone poles (or, in this case, insisting that over one billion Facebook users can't construct a sentence) isn't going to change that. - Mr603

02/04/2013: If the whole movie had just been Obi-Wan's bits, I think a lot of people would have more time for it. - Just Bob

01/04/2013: The Four Horsemen of the disastrous post: Typo, Haste, Myopia, and Culmsy fingers - paulh