Occasionally and for no good reason, someone might lose all their hair. Obviously this does not happen overnight (mostly), but instead takes place gradually over a period of years. Upon this being noticed by the owner of the head from which the hair has gone, they will panic and take steps to hide the process from other people, at least those other people that have not yet noticed the increasingly large shiny patch at their crown.

The potential bald person will take a wander into the nearest town (wearing a hat) and will search for a wig shop. Once one is found, they will enter and say, "I'm looking for a wig for my friend as a joke for his birthday," whereupon the wig shop employee will say, "Certainly Sir. What colour would you like?" whilst inspecting the colour of that hair still present and visible beneath the customer's hat. A short while later the customer exits the shop, eighty pounds poorer but able to step out confidently, knowing that no-one will ever know that they're balding. The fool.

In reality, wigs are even easier to spot than grammatical errors in a tabloid newspaper. The wearer will be disinclined to incline their head in case it falls off or (even worse) shifts slightly and makes the wearer look slightly wonky for the rest of the day. People who fail to spot the elastic band at the back might notice that the wearer has the same hairstyle every day and never seems to appear to have had a recent haircut. Instead of feeling paranoid about the hairs in the plughole the wearer concerns himself with not running his hands through "his" hair in case he uses too much force and will never, ever pull again in case he gets laughed at. It would of course be much simpler and far more heroic to forget vanity and be proud to be bald; the only worry one might have is the increased risk of catching a chill in winter.