Cockney Rhyming Slang Content from the guide to life, the universe and everything

Cockney Rhyming Slang

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A dog and bone, and a phone

A dialect found mostly in East London, where people obviously have more time to say what they want to say, and are more paranoid about being overheard. The principle is to decide what it is you want to say, and then find words which bear no real relation to what you're going to say, but which rhyme loosely with your phrase.

Sometimes the connection is totally obscure. For example, 'Bottle and Glass' (Arse) was obviously a bit racy, so it is put at one remove with 'Aristotle' = Bottle. This is then contracted again so that you say 'Aris', which is almost exactly what you started out trying not to say. Some secret language...

Cockney rhyming slang used to be a form of Pidgin English designed so that the working Eastenders could have a right good chin wag without the toffs knowing that they were talking about them. These days people just make it up for a laugh, so young streetwise Londoners say things like 'Ah mate, 'ad a right mare I did, got chucked out me pad, blew me lump, and now fings wiv the trouble and strife have gone all pete tong!'

Here's our horribly incomplete list of popular Cockney rhyming slang. If you know any others, why not post them to the forum below?

Adam and EveBelieveI don't bloody Adam and Eve it!
Alan WhickersKnickersOkay, okay, keep yer Alans on!
Apple FritterBitter (beer)They've got some new Apple at the Battle.
Apples and PearsStairsGet yer Bacons up the Apples and Pears.
ArisArseNice Aris!
Army and Navy GravyPass the Army, son.
Artful DodgerLodgerI've got an Artful to help pay the rent.
Ayrton SennaTenner (ten pound note)You owe me an Ayrton.
Bacon and EggsLegsShe's got a lovely set of Bacons.
Bang Allan BorderBang out of orderHe's bang Allan (used when someone does something nasty to someone else).
Barn Owl (Barney)Row (argument)'Ad a Barney with me Artful 'cos 'e refused to give me my Ayrton's.
Barnet FairHairShe's just got her Barnet chopped.
Boat RaceFaceSmashed 'im in the Boat.
Battle CruiserBoozer (off license)I'm off to the Battle to get some Apple.
Bottle and GlassArseHe fell on his Bottle.
Brass bandsHandsI shook him by the Brass.
Bread and HoneyMoneyHe's got loads of Bread.
Britney SpearsBeersGive us a couple of Britney's will ya?
Brown BreadDeadHe's Brown Bread.
Bubble BathLaughYou're 'avin' a Bubble.
Butcher's HookLookTake a Butcher's at that!
Chevy ChaseFaceHe fell on 'is Chevy.
China PlateMateHow are you, me old China?
Christian SlaterLaterSee ya Slater.
Cream CrackeredKnackered (tired/broken)I'm Cream Crackered!
Currant BunSunThe Currant Bun's hot today.
Daisy RootsBoots'Ere, put on yer Daisies.
Danny Marr CarI'll give you a lift in the Danny.
David GowerShowerGive us half an hour mate I've gotta go for a David.
Dicky BirdWordHe hasn't said a Dicky in hours.
Dog and BonePhoneShe's always on the Dog.
Donkey's EarsYearsAin't seen you in Donkeys.
Drum'n'BassFaceLook me in the Drum.
Dudley (Dudley Moore)A score, or 20 poundsLoan me a Dudley?
Elephant's EarsBeersGet the Elephants in, mate!
Frog & ToadRoadI was walking down the Frog...
Half InchPinch (steal)Someone's half-inched me Ayrton.
Ham'n'cheesyEasyHam'n'cheesy does it.
Hank MarvinStarving (hungry)I'm Hank Marvin.
Jam JarCarMe Jam Jar's Cream Crackered.
Jimmy RiddlePiddle (urinate)I really need to go for a Jimmy.
JoannaPianoHe's great on the Joanna.
Khyber PassArseHe kicked him up the Khyber.
Lady GodivaFiver (five pound note)Lend us a Lady, mate.
Lee MarvinStarvingI'm bloody Lee Marvin mate.
Lemon SqueezyEasyIt was Lemon, mate.
Lionel BlairsFlaresLook at the Lionels on 'im.
Loaf of BreadHeadThat's using the old Loaf.
Mince PiesEyesYou've got lovely Mince Pies my dear.
Mork and MindyWindyIt's a little bit Mork and Mindy today, innit?
Mother HubbardCupboardThere's no grub in the Mother.
Nanny GoatCoatHow much for the Nanny?
Nelson MandelaStella (Artois)Mine's a pint of Nelson!
Nuclear SubPubFancy a quick one down the Nuclear?
Oily RagFag (cigarette)Gis' an Oily, mate.
Pen and InkStinkEurgh! That Pen and Ink's!
Pete TongWrongEverything's gone Pete Tong.
Plate of MeatStreetI was walking down the Plate...
Plates of MeatFeetI've been on me Plates all day.
Pony£25Lend me a Pony?
Pony and TrapCrapThis game's a bit Pony.
Pork Pies (Porkie Pies)LiesHe's always telling Porkies.
Queen MumBumGet off your Queen Mum.
Rabbit & PorkTalkShe Rabbits on a bit.
Raspberry TartFartThat Raspberry bloody Pen and Inks.
Richard the ThirdTurdThat bloke's a complete Richard.
Rosie LeeTeaIf you're brewing a pot, I'll have a Rosie.
Round The HousesTrousersTake a Butcher's at those Rounds!
Ruby MurrayCurryI'm going for a Ruby.
Saucepan LidKidHe's only gone and had a Saucepan.
Septic TankYankWell, 'es a bloody Septic, inni?
Sky RocketPocketMe Skies are empty.
Steam TugDo something stupid (Steam tug = Mug = Fool)He went steaming ahead and did it anyway.
Stoke-on-TrentBent (criminal)He's totally Stoke.
Sweeney ToddFlying Squad (Police)Here come the Sweeney.
Syrup of FigsWigCheck out the Syrup on 'is head.
Tea LeafThiefWatch it, he's a bloody Tea Leaf.
Tit for tatHatHas anyone seen my Titfer?
Tom and DickSickHe's feeling a bit Tom.
Tom FooleryJewelleryI gave me Trouble some Tom Foolery for Christmas.
Trouble and StrifeWifeJust had a Barney with me Trouble.
Two and EightState (of anguish)He's in a right old Two and Eight.
Uncle DickSickHe's just been Uncle Dick over me new Whistle.
Vera LynnsSkins (tobacco paper)Pass the Veras, mate, and I'll roll up.
Weasel & StoatCoatPull on yer Weasel.
Whistle and FluteSuitI just got a new Whistle.

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