Caveman, Evil Unix Sysadmin, betting shop operative, and SuDoku addict (Its an odd mix, but someone has to do it)

Welcome to the cave - Caveat procurator ratio

Caveman, occasionally known as Jim, used to work for a company in Fareham, Hampshire, UK, as a systems programmer and BOFH²

I live in Portsmouth, Hampshire; somewhere around the centre of this place

While not being made redundant from a sysadmin job he held for 17 years, he also works for Ladbrokes in Portsmouth and recently in the frozen depths of the north stand at Fratton Park football ground

Born in 1968 in Hounslow, I attended Archdeacon Cambridge CofE Primary school. Nothing puts you off organised religion more than an experience like that. After that, I went to Whitton School, which is the non-building on your left if you've just gone straight over the first roundabout you meet at the London end of the M3, just past the cellphone tower (Cellphone tower? That wasn't there when I was at school, we had this nifty little entrance from the footbridge direct into the grounds). I say 'non-building' because I recently found out, live on BBC Radio Solent³, that it's been demolished. Something I had tried several times to accomplish while I was there, but failed to do so. Whoever did succeed, congratulations. Upon leaving there in 1984, I spent two years at the local tertiary college before heading to Portsmouth Polytechnic⁴. Assuming it's still 2004, I left Portsmouth Polytechnic fourteen years ago, but never quite made it out of the city, as I still live in Hilsea.

I am now the proud owner of three IBM Model M keyboards. They all have proper 'birth certificates' dated from 1987, 1990, and 1994 (ok, that last one is technically a Lexmark, but made to the model M design). For the uninitiated, IBM Model M keyboards are the sort of keyboard that was made to last. The sort of keyboard you could use as a weapon, and then use to type up the incident report afterwards. More on IBM keyboards at Wikipedia

1. Beer (meaning Ale, not 'Eurofizz' lager)
2. Other forms of alcohol particularly Brentzen fruit schapps
3. Bowling (league secretary of the Business House League)
4. Science (mad or otherwise)⁵
5. Linux
6. Loud music of various kinds (virtually anything with a halfway decent melody, which definitely excludes Rap, Jazz, and a lot of 'Alternative' music. I also detest 'Country & Western')
7. Science fiction, particularly Babylon 5, but definitely NOT star wars⁶
8. Microsoft bashing⁷
9. Playing Puzzle Pirates for far too long (You'll find me on most oceans playing as Zarquon, or Zarquontoo)