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To see a world in a grain of sand,
And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
William Blake, Augeries of Innocence
Hello and welcome to the Pit of Wulfric.1
SOME UNINTERESTING FACTS ABOUT ME
THINGS AND STUFF
This is probably the part where, traditionally, people write about their hobbies, musical tastes, and whatever else occurs to them. And so in deference to such traditions this space shall be no different.
The U.S. presidency is a Tudor monarchy plus telephones
The being known by the name Wulfric enjoys a varied lifestyle which includes frequent trips to the Háqtafi'i Crystal Plains on the planet Phraxàlis in the Bropir Nebula where a tan can be picked up quickly during the twelve hours which make up the afternoons. It is highly recommended.4 Sometimes he can be found lurking around mid-to-North Essex in a sinister manner whilst wearing a cardboard vest, Size 12 galoshers, a purple strawberry-flavoured blancmange boating hat, plus fours and one yellow glove.6
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind
In the evening Wulfric likes nothing better than to hover two inches above the floor whilst playing strip scrabble with his wife. To make things more complicated the Bevington Gambit is usually employed with the added fun of the classic Stevenage Turn.7 This usually makes the game last a good two hours. Throw in some beers, lightly salted bar snacks and some whipped cream and it can almost turn enjoyable.
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
On not a few occasions Wulfric can be found scowling in supermarkets with a laden trolley giving people the evil-eye when they stop inexplicably and annoyingly in front of him, or when they block off an aisle with their trolley whilst they go into a mystic trance, and devising new and terrible ways of decimating the shopping public, who frankly deserve worse, whilst his wife finds new and more frightening ways of spending money on seemingly unnecessary items ("because it smells nice"). This vengeance on the shopping public will probably take the form of a molecular destabiliser with nuclear battery for easy carriage.
The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought
Sir Thomas Beecham
Wulfric has a very eclectic musical taste: rock, classical, jazz, blues, world, opera, avant-garde, stupid, folk. Amongst his favourite bands and musicians are Tangerine Dream8, Penguin Café Orchstra, Vangelis, Bonzo Dog Band, Spike Jones, Led Zeppelin, King Crimson, Faust, Klaus Schulze, Can9, Brian Eno, Yes, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Aphrodite's Child10, Grobschnitt11, Jean-Michel Jarre, Neuronium12 and so on. His musical taste is described by his wife as weird, bizarre, strange, and bloody-mindedly awkward. Wulfric disagrees with this summation of his musical tastes and prefers to see it as wide-ranging and interesting.
Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras
He is also an avid reader of pretty much anything. History, science, sci-fi, fantasy, thrillers, Biggles, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, the Beano, paranormal studies, archæology, the classics, and so much more. His bookshelves (of which there are many) have a strong leaning towards history books, most of which are about the period 350-1100AD. When his wife moved in the overloaded bookshelves are weighed down even more with a strange mixture of paranormal/spiritual books and romantic girly-type literature (using the term loosely).
Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous
He also enjoys writing and is currently attempting to write a pointless and ridiculously plotted novel which encompasses all sorts of seemingly unconnected things; it will probably turn out to be a convoluted mess. Composing orchestral music is another distraction which occasionally gets done, but more often than not, doesn't on account of how long it takes. He would like to write an opera one day and has already had a bash but gave up. He also plays the clarinet and piano (or synthesizer on account of the flat being too small to fit a piano in) but not at the same time. Needless to say he plays both very badly even though he was classically trained on the piano and self-taught on the clarinet. He also attempted to master the Kalibarian13 nose-flute but had to give up for medical reasons.
All men are afraid of dying, this is the great law of sentient beings, without which the entire human species would soon be destroyed
Amongst his many interests are astronomy (owns a telescope but can't use it where he currently lives without being accused of being a perveted peeping-tom), science (totally useless at this), history (particularly the so-called Dark Ages), the paranormal, language and philology, and the complicated subject of Assyrian sock weaving techniques. He also has a passing interest in the natural world, wherein he can recognise that some animals are birds, and other animals are not birds.
Nullus est locus domestica sede jucundior14
Marcus Tullius Cicero
There are Guide entries for more details of some of the bands mentioned above (none of which written by me).
ENTRIES WRITTEN BY WULFRIC
So far only one entry, but hopefully more will follow when time allows.
SITE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Because Wulfric has absolutely no idea of what he's doing, this site will probably be continuously under construction when he finally keels over at the age of 102, incontinent, senile and smelly. It is frankly a miracle that he has managed to put this much on without causing a worldwide disruption of computer networks, thus plunging the world into chaos and ultimately sending civilisation back into the Mediæval period.15
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This is probably the best thing to press if you want to see who's around.
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