Dear Sir or Madam:
|page en Franï¿½ais, s'il vous plaï¿½t,|
page in French, if it pleases you3,
All things must pass. All things must pass away.7
Greetings and Salutations!
For the first time in history, I should like to put my Full Ceremonial Title. It is this: Arch-Blump Presently12, The Cynic; Chairman of the H2G2 Awards Council; Ex-Assistant Community Director13; Ex-Guru14; Keeper of Silly-Ba-Billy Type Poetry, Highly Fascinatingly Interesting-ish Stories and Most Other Types of Thingammajjigeebbobbers to Which I Like (Quite...) and Possibly Other Such Things to Which I May or May Not Like (Including Some Forms of Music and Musical Instruments)15; Member of the H2G2 Musician's Guild; Muse of Physics and All Related Topics, Subjects and Things16; Pianist at the H2G2 Symphony Orchestra; President17of the Brunel Fan Club18; Royal Musical Conductor for the Kingdom of Balwyniti (I'm a Q19, too!). Note Bene:20 you don't have to memorize this.
I have joined the Guide because I feel that I have much to contribute to the Guide. Some might be silly, some might be informative. However, you will be able to rely on its accuracy (unless otherwise noted).21
I have many interests ranging from music (The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Yes, Emerson, Lake and Palmer (ELP), Chopin, et cetera) to physics (and I do love physics) and most things in between (Star Trek books, philology, radios, curling, golf, card games, winter....). I also have an affinity for writing22 and acting23.
Too 24, I love India and I think I might go (but, not to Goa). There, I will indeed see the Taj Mahal in Agra.
Enroll! Enroll to One of the Campaigns!27
The Brunel Fan Club.
|Brunel: Skin of the Future|
If you are like me and you enjoy the new skin that was introduced with the uprgade to DNA 1.1028, you'll be interested to know that, now, you can show it to the world!29 by enrolling in The Brunel Fan Club. Simply visit the folowing link, make certain you qualify (as you probably will; there's nothing serious) and join! The Fan Club's Home Page can be found at: The Brunel Fan Club.
Or, if you like, you can sign up simply by filling out the form here following.
When applying, please add a little bit about why you are applying. And, don't forget to erase this text. :)
The H2G2 Awards Council.
Everyone likes to feel special. Everyone likes to get awards. At the H2G2 Awards Council, we've taken the best of this and put it into one. So, get your awards here! Simply go to the Home Page, start a conversation saying what award you want and why and, PRESTO! you'll have your very own award complete with Certificate and the entitleation for you to put that award in your name. What could be better? To get your award, visit: The H2G2 Awards Council
Ladies and gentlemen (and things, if there are any), I am very proud to present to you the first of my own campaignes. These campaignes have been in the workings for quite a while now and the first of them are now ready. It is the campaigne against James Joyce's Finnegans Wake31. So, if you'd like to join up, please, just click at the following link. It shall take you to: The Home of the People Against James Joyce's Finnegans Wake. However, if this one is not for you, I am also making a fan club for Gormenghast. Indeed, this following link shall take you to: The Home of the Gormenghast Fans. Watch this site for more up-dates!
Prepare Yourself; You'll Need It.
I have been wrighting for quite a bit of my life. However, very few are the persons who can say that they have seen my writing. Some might also say: "And for good reason!". However, there are those who do not have a not-so-quiet appreciation of what I write. But, I am going to let you decide.For one of the first times, I am going to let the general public have a glimpse into my life. You might not understand it, you might think it funny, you migth abhore it. Whatever you think, I'd love to hear feed-back. So, sit back, relax, have some , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , or whatever else may suit your fancy, and read. I give you now, a list of some of: My Works.
Post Scriptum32: My Works was also featured in the thirty-fourth edition of the AGG/GAG/CAC column in The H2G2 Post. If you would like to see the actuall column as it appeared that day, here is a link to The Thirty-Fourth Edition of the AGG/GAG/CAC Column of The H2G2 Post.
How I Wrote this Guide Entry.
If you would like to see how I wrote this site (Id Est: In it's original GuideML format), please, click here.
If you would like to see my conversation, please, click here.
If you would like to see your own conversations, please, click here. Or, if you are using Brunel, simply click on the My Conversations button, located on the left and third from top.
If you would like to know who else is on-line, please, click here. Or, you can see who is on-line at any time by clicking the Who's Online button in the taskbar (Brunel: On the left, fourth from top, Alabaster: At top and bottom, third from the left, Classic Goo: On the left, third from bottom).
Well, if You Will Simply Read on a Bit More, I Shall Explain what I Mean.
For many years now, I have lived in a house that is quite old 33. It has very old doors. Now, because of their immense age, I have often had to repair them. So, one day a few months ago, I started a guide entry about about how I went about fixing them; just some general tips are what I gave. Well, I put it up for Peer Review, a few people viewed. And now, it's been recommended and accepted! Now, I shall attempt to control my absolute JOY! None the less, I have good reason to suspect that, one day (hopefully sooner rather than later), it shall be accepted in to the Edited Guide. And, today, it has.
And Now, Some Credits.
- The Article was written by: Yours Trully.
- The Article got a suggestion (which I put in) from: Whisky (Scout).
- The Article has been edited by: Researcher PSG [Minister of Impossibility and Improbability] - Peace! [Scout]
- The non-edited article version is at: this location.
- The edited article version (which has been accepted into the Edited Guide) is at: this location.
A Little Bit About all of My Titles (Now in Alphabetacle Order34(No, I'm not Pompous but Yes, I Can't Spell)).
A. C. E.
Please note that, before you read on, I have defected from the A. C. E.'s. I defected to... The Guru's.
In life, there are some events in life that, admittedly, are more special than others. Your first step, your first word, your marriage, et cetera. On H2G2, there is no difference. Some high-lights are: your first guide entry, your first title, your first conversation and, your first title from The Towers. This honour has just been bestowed upon me. Now, of course, we must all attempt to show some form of neutrallity. However, once in a while, we can afford to show the convivialism35 inside. I, however, shan't show it unless forced to. Hey..., what are you doing? Oh no, I feel my convivialism comming on... It's time to convivialise! If you'd like to find out more about the Assistant Community Editors and what we do, please, visit the following link. It shall take you to: The A. C. E.'s Home Page. Or, if you like, you can click on the large badge at the top of this page. It shall take you to the same place.
A little late (but better late than never (and, in fact, I am a bit embarrased not to have put this sooner)) but here none the less is the blurb about my first title; The Cynic. Now, this title I recieved a while ago and I am still very proud of it. If you would like to join The Cynics, please click on the following link to: The Cynic's Guild (it is also, in fact, the home page of Hunter the Cynic, and his merry band of homemade comic characters. ( Click here to join the cynic's guild, we're still taking m)). Once there (and you qualify with the qualifications), just ask to sign up! It's that easy!
&ActorRed Fox: Anarchist, Raving Lunatic, and Cynic Ace. (Tatoo!)SaturnsDaughter Planet of Silence Saturn Ice Fang The CynicSiletta the Cynical Neopagan
Jai Guru Deva. Om.
Back to Section Top
You may be asking yourselves why I am using that phrase as one of my sub-headers. Well, firstly, I love the Beatles and expecially that song. Secondly, look at the words. Jai Guru Deva. Om. Can you guess why I used it now? I've been made a Guru. Why? Because I asked to be! And, becasue I feel I am competant enough. So, if you have any questions, ask away and I just might know the answer. If I don't you can choose from one of the others. You can find us either at The Guru's Homepage or on the drop-down menu provided, for free!, below. Ende36.
I am immensly happy to inform you all that I am now Keeper of Silly-Ba-Billy Type Poetry, Highly Fascinatingly Interesting-ish Stories and Most Other Types of Thingammajjigeebbobbers to Which I Like (Quite...) and Possibly Other Such Things to Which I May or May Not Like (Including Some Forms of Music and Musical Instruments)37. Though this may seem like gibberish to some and plain old long and rubbish to most, I can assure you that I chose it with carfully thought out consideration and I am quite proud of it. The following is a link to: The Home of the Keepers.
More excellent and good news! (It just keeps comming!) I am now also an official MuG (a. k. a.: Musician's Guild)! The following is a link to: The H2G2 Musician's Guild. This group of people are a group of people who have grouped together because they have (at minimum) one (1) thing in common: they share a passion for music. I have joined this group for the same reason. I love music: I play music (mostly on the piano and clarinet but, I hope to change that the year after next to include the Sur Bahar38), I sing music (I'm biased to the Beatles. Sorry.) and, in fact, I have been in musicals! It is for these reasons and the reasons my esteemed colleague, Charlie the Sock, has stated that the resolution of B. I. R. T. that I asked for membership and was granted must, and surely will, stand 39. If you would like to become one (and you feel that you are qualified), all you have to do is ask politly and they will (most likely) recieve you with open arms!
And, as of the 26 of January, 2002, I am now also a Muse! I am Muse of Physics and All Related Topics, Subjects and Things. Now, what exactly does this mean? I am, when reviewing this Museddom, Muse of everything (seeing as physics constitues every thing in the known universe. Also, with my inclusion of all related topics, subjects and things, this further increases my museship to include every thing in every universe). If you think me pompus, you are incorrect. I am trully quite humble. The following is a link to: The Musehome.
Position in the H2G2 Symphony Orchestra.
I am very sorry that it has taken me so long to put this up 40. But, I am now an official pianist in the H2G2 Symphony Orchestra!41 and I am very proud of this. However, I shall admitt some thing. I am glad that this is the H2G2 Symphony Orchestra because, as I have told many people, I refuse to play in public. However, if the orchestra for some reason came across the ocean to where I live, I might participate. Now, I might seem pessamistic about this (I'm a pessamist) but I am very honoured to be a part of this. If you wold like to join (and they do need lots of strings still), please, click on the following link. It shall take you to: The H2G2 Symphony Orchestra
Position in the Kingdom of Balwyniti.
I am proud (yet humble at the exact same instant!) to announce that I have been accepted into the (almost holy) Kingdom of Balwyniti. I am The Royal Conductor (to express the musician et cetera 42 within). If you would like to visit the Kingdom, please, visit it by clicking on the following link. It will get you to: The Kingdom of Balwyniti
Post Scriptum: If any one can tell me how much a bagpipe would cost in Canadian dollars, please let me know.
Post Post Scriptum: I would like to know why so many reaserchers have so many names in parenthesis. How does one go about
Post Post Post Scriptum: If any one knows how to read and write shorthand, please, let me know.
Post4 Scriptum: If any one knows Latin, do not hesitate to tell me.
Post5 Scriptum: If any one knows where I can find an audio clip of a Sur Bahar on the internet for me, do tell me.
Post6 Scriptum: I found one so you can disregard the last post scriptum.
Post7 Scriptum: You can disregard the first Post Scriptum.
Post8 Scriptum: You can disregard Post Post Scriptum.
If you'd like to E-Mail me, please, feel free to do so. Simply click on the folowing link, type your H2G2 name in the subject and, as if by magic! I shall respond. Ready? Alright. Click here!
MSN Instant Messenger.
If you would like to contact me via MSN Instant Messenger (more commonly refered to as simply MSN), the E-Mail at which you can reach me is the following: firstname.lastname@example.org My current Name is: Presently42: **** und **** zum ******43!
Alright. If you've come this far, I think you're entitled to know that I have Ithica (ICQ). So, if you want to contact me, I'll give you the ICQ#. Sort of. I'll give you the formula to get it; simply plug in the numbers and, if you're right, you'll get me. If not, you shan't. If you do find it out, please say in your opening message your H2G2 name and that you solved the euqation. So, here it is. Oh, you aught to note that it isn't fully finished yet.
(Pi less the decemals) + (The number of rulers of the U. S. S. R.) x (Number of Beatles) - (Number of time zones back from G. M. T. Montreal, Canada is) x (Number of Star Trek movies as of the First of January First, 2003) x (Number of Star Trek series as of January First, 2003 (including the animated series)) - (Year the Beatles broke up) + (The answer to life, the universe and everything) x (the number of characters in the sentance: "How much wood can a woodcuch chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?". Hint: it isn't 54 and it does not include the quotation marks.) + (the number of dots or dis in the number 5 in Morse Code) x (number of petals in the ICQ flower) + (number of keys on a standard telephone (not the hold, redial et cetera keys)) x (number of meters in a kilometer) - (number of digits in the number 63) x (number of hole in Blackburn, Lancashire acording to the song A Day in a Life by The Bealtes) x (the par of a regular golf course (it's 42 + either 20, 30, 40, 50, or 60.)) + (the number of holes in a regular golf course) - (number of books in the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trillogy (if you will)).
A Bit About My Library.
I love Books. However, my Library is not Solely composed of Books. I also have many C. D.'s, Ausio Cassettes, Video Cassettes and Long Plays (L. P.'s). I estimate that my Current Total Collection has Approximately One Thousand (1,000) Entries. And Entry is not nescessarily every individual Book, Tape, Et Cetera. For instance, the Beatles Anthology is comprised of Eight Video Cassettes. However, it is listed under One Entry: Beatels Anthology, The. My estimation does not include the Media I have on my Computer.
A Bit About the I. L. S.
To Manage all of these Things, I Utilise an I. L. S. (Integrated Library System). The I. L. S. that I Use is called Koha (pronounced KAW-ha, apparently). Their Web-Site can be found at: Koha - Open Source Library System.
The Link Proper
I'm sure that you are all quite Curious to visit my O. P. A. C. (On-Line Public Access Console). So, here be the link to The Litwin Library. Share and Enjoy!
|Blump! Here's me kiwi.|
How to Read It
The Edition Number Sequence is made like this: This Current Edition is the _ since July 22 (when I first started counting).Year.Month.Date.Time (example: 2018 is 8:18 P. M., U. T. C).
Thus, the first edition since I started to count would look like this: 1.2003.07.22.0551
Edition Sequence Number.
Description of Changes.
This will, at some point, be a table. I have done lots of work. I created a new section, the Edition section. I still have work to do on it. I have mostly up-dateing to do when I am through createing this section. Sorry if My Personal Space has some parts that don't look like they normally do. They will soon.
&E.)'s "It's time well spent".27Beatles' allusion to the song "The Magical Mystery Tour"'s first line "Roll up! Roll up to the Mystery Tour!".28At the time, it was new.29It is quite acceptable in the English Language to put a question or exclamation mark in the middle of a sentance - as long as the phrase is completed with either a full-stop (period) or an ellipsis with a period (....).30The word Blump has an interesting history. You see, I had thought that I'd invented it and had been using it for a few weeks not knowing what would happen. At the time, I had been reading Finnegans Wake by James A. A. Joyce. And, what word do you think was in there, written about seventy (70) years prior to my creation? Blump! So, in fractruthrallity (now there's a Finnegans Wake-ism; can you find all seven (7) words?), I did not invent it. Blast!31With which I am obsessed.32Latin for: After Text.33It was built around 1915.34Seeing as there are indeed so many and I want to show neutrality to all of them so as not to offend any one.35I got that from my Latin Book.36This is an allusion to Das Boot in which there is a scene when the Captain is making a message to his sailors and says, at the end, Ende. This was translated into English (it's a German movie) as: That is all.37I know this is a long title; I did it on purpose. I wanted the longest title that I could think of. There it is. And the best of it all: It all makes sense and is the truth about me.38See the bit about India and myself39This is a nice allusion to the end of a debating speech.40At the time, it had been many weeks.41I say an because there are multiple indeed.42I say et cetera because a conductor can also be interpretted as being a train conductor. I also love trains. So, it has a double meaning.43These German Words have been asterisked out because they may cause some objection.44Back to Top
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Name: David R. Litwin
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