Colbert the Alien (patron saint of drunk Wookies)

UH!!!!

SO Unfair!!!

Some Git stole my garden gnome. Poor little Norbert is lost and i doubt whether the police will go look for him...

Me

Ok, well, im me, My name isnt Colbert, my name isnt even Colin which i derived it from, infact my name isnt even Dave and my surname has nothing whatsoever to do with the colour strangly not known as light red which is a bit wierd seeing how my email address is Davepink@something im not going to say. That was in fact a very long sentence which made very little sense, but then I'm English, its my language, ill destroy it if i want.

Description?

Sigh... if i must

Ok where shall we start....
NAME: thats for me to know and for you to wonder about for the rest of your pathetic life, or until you decide you dont care - see above.
AGE: officially 14, turning 15 soon, but ive been told im more 14 going on 23.
HEIGHT:6'2, 74 inches, about....oooooh, 2.54x74... around 188cm.
WEIGHT: Too damn much, thats all im saying
OTHER FEATURES:Very strong glasses or contact lenses, colour blind in too many ways to mention right now, double jointed fingers and thumbs, one collar bone shorter than the other due to rugby "accident"
LOCATION:Harlow, Essex, England, UK, Northern Hemisphere of Earth, 3rd planet of the Sol system, Out in the spiral arms, Milky Way galaxy, too far from all the exciting stuff.
HOBBIES: Underage drinking, Arguing with teachers who expect me to be scared of them, making people constantly change their opinion of me, playing rugby and sitting in the casualty department of my local hospital (the last two are interlinked)
OCCUPATION: Professional Net Junkie, School studant on the side
OTHER INFORMATION: Ive been told im a genius, ive replied that they're a moron.
FAVOURITE THINGS: Alternative Rock music, good single malt Scotch, Easily concealable Personal Stereos, stand up comedians, TV cartoons of comic books (I just spent a whole weekend watching X-men cartoons for 10 hours a day) and my trusty PC.
LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS: School textbooks, alco-pops, friends who think theyre cool because they get drunk on 3 of the aformentioned alco-pops, the gunk that collects in the working of my mouse, teeny-pop music and painkillers that dont work.